Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Love Is

Oops, a duplicate posting. Maybe you changed a typo or something, oh well…

I think your preview gave a lot of insite to this piece. That said, it made much more sense. I really enjoyed a couple of lines that said so much more inside them. The ‘kisses’ and the ‘less than three’. As far as ‘raptor hunting’, you may need to shed some light on that one. Nice work, take care! me…

Hey there, good combo of thought provoking words. I enjoyed this. Kind of like a mind travel. Good visualizations. Nice work!

This is in the form of a poem and certainly could pass as one. What i like about this is it appears to be an individuals perception or personal experience with love, but at the same time because it is so specific to the writers experience it makes it hard to relate to. Overall its beautiful poem or blog!  

It does have a flow of thoughts. The biggest improvement you can make with this is spell-checking. No matter how beautiful your words and ideas, they lose their quality when you don’t spell-check. eskomo feilds

The plane tickets at the beginning and end are a nice statement, because they symbolize arrival and departure and can be interpreted in other ways. I am sure there is a longer story in this, but I prefer it in this form. They are snapshots in an album.

Would make fine poetry.

Shite yeah this is worth elaborating on and producing into a short story. I loved what you’ve started thats for sure. I’m not sure what to expect from it actually but all I see at the moment is dirty dorms with rubbish all over the place,pizza boxes hidden in the sofa, and the lingering smell of last night’s sex-fest, after that who knows.

What you’ve started just reminds me of the typical college life.

But keep writing I like what you’ve written the wording is great. I look forward to seeing where your actually going with this. You’ve got talent.

Keep writing….

I see what you’re going for but I think it can be more intricately woven. A barrage of images interspersed with abstract ideas can be more finely tuned into a barrage of images imbued with abstract ideas, that make the reader curious as to what comes next.

As in, blackberry sage tea – you can do something with that. Right now all I see is a bottle of Honest Tea. It means something to the story. But… what should it mean to me as a reader?

Try to take the lines too stupid to see the signs, capturing your attention for a week, and beautifully sad and weave those things into the images you are creating.

You’ll get there. It’s a good start.