Poetry / Prestige

This is very poor.  There is no purpose in your poem, and this, not its brevity, is your main concern.  You need to write about something, not merely compose a series of directionless, unconnected lines.  Although caustic to say, I’d scrap this poem entirely and for your next attempt focus on crafting a story of some kind.  

Good luck,

Nick

This got close.  I like the premise.  ”buddy” in L2 is the hook, sets the poem apart.  Structure in poetry is a crapshoot, but the small case beginning of L4 comes off as a typo.  I know it is probably correct but Caps here will not create a hiccup and I think it reads just as well.  The last line is the buggar.  My ear wants to hear 4 more syllables.  My guess is it’s true to the source of inspiration.  See what others say.

we could all learn a lot of spam emails  

I appreciate found poetry, and the idea of using spam subject lines is clever.  This piece however does not cohere well, or not at all really.  There is a randomness to this that leaves it devoid of meaning.  Usually in found poetry, one chooses words and phrases and rearranges them to give depth of personal meaning.  That could work for you with this.  Otherwise it seems as if you’ve taken whole subject lines and stacked them on each other.  You could do the same with fortune cookie messages, newspaper headlines…  whatever.  That doesn’t make found poetry.

I can see the spam subject lines but somehow they don’t seem to connect in this poem, how does starting your new life now have to do with making a girl want to spend the night with you? The whole thing is like one-liners and has nothing to do with prestige. ‘Only prestige’ is an incomplete thought and not a sentence. I would try using spam lines and work them into more meaningful constructs that sort of flow together and make some sense i.e. a beginning, a middle and end. This seems like sketch notes for a larger poem.

Quite fun. I’m sure all can agree that those little e-mail spams are annoying to get. The only line that confused me was “Shaman like skills” (Did you actually get an add like that?) It just doesn’t seem to fit with the rest.

otherwise this was a great read. thanks for sharing.

I really like this.
It is short,
to the point,
and poignant.

The words are
clean and crisp.
Shamans always
draw my interest.

Overall?
Well done.

It reminds me
of my own life
after today.