Journal, Diary, & Blogging / The Trilogy of Wings (Analysis)
About a year ago I was trying to finish breaking the ties to a bad relationship I had. We were the typical story: high school sweeties, he was verbally/emotionally abusive and I was just way too blind to see it. While I was severing the final ties and making myself hold fast to my decision I began writing again.
Writing and I have a love/hate relationship. I love it yet what I write almost always comes out like something I’ve just read, to which I get frustrated and walk away.
During this time of intense teenage angst and turmoil I just wrote bits and pieces here and there on whatever paper happened to be around. Upon inspection later of said paper I came across a small passage I had written that has stayed with me for a long time since.
The passage is as follows:
“She looked at me with such hate. I couldn’t help but laugh at her pain. Her hate. Leaning down I licked a tear off of her cheek. ‘Your angst is my sugar.’ I moaned into her ear. She screamed and clawed at me like a wild beast. Close now…her spirit will break.”
I did a mock write up of a story that could work with the passage. It would be a fantasy novel, mature, graphic, mainly it would be a very painful sadistic story. I do know that I want the male character to be named Darvin, while my leading lady has Belladonna as a place holder name.
The Darvin character is one sick puppy. Yet he has to be one of my favorite characters I’ve ever created! I love his hate, anger, sadistic personality; it’s just who he is. I know that his core character will never change.
I am curious if anyone finds the passage I wrote intriguing or if it is just an obsession I have developed.
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There are elements here that could work with a book, but overall it feels a little stereotyped and as though you are linked into this relationship still and perhaps a little too close to write about it in a meaningful rather than a hurt kind of way. Darvin sounds as though the character could be developed, perhaps as you suggest into a serial sadiist/killer. Belladonna, well apart from having a pretty immature name we don’t really find out a lot about her here.
I hope this is helpful.
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Sounds like something I’d be interested in. I am kind of morbid though. That’s one cool thing about writing, you’re able to assume the perspective of psychopaths. It gives your alter-ego a chance to run free. I’d go for it.
writing is defiantly an obsession you have developed but it seems like your very good at it from what i can tell. From that little bit i was intrigued to read more. Don’t discourage yourself, inspire yourself to keep it up.
Great. the describing about what and why it was important was very good.
I think thats a very interesting idea you’ve put together there. the line “She looked at me with such hate. I couldn’t help but laugh at her pain. Her hate. Leaning down I licked a tear off of her cheek. ‘Your angst is my sugar.’ I moaned into her ear. She screamed and clawed at me like a wild beast. Close now…her spirit will break”. is that going to be a opener to the story or will it go somewhere in the climax of the story? so far i think youve got a very good idea blooming and i agree, i do think your Darvin character sounds very interesting and will definetly be fun to read about :)
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