Children's / "Losing Magic is Tragic", book 1, revised.
Steven thought he was just an ordinary boy living in an ordinary house on an ordinary street.
But, he was not an ordinary boy. He was, in fact, extraordinary!
(Illustration and break)
One sunny summer day, Steven went to his backyard to play, as he ordinarily did. His favorite place in the whole wide world was a soft patch of green grass under a tree of extraordinary proportions.
The biggest,
the oldest,
the most extraordinary tree,
it was believed, for miles and miles.
Steven’s favorite thing to do, on such a perfect day, was to lie on his back in the middle of that soft patch of green grass, watching the clouds go by, counting them one by one until, he’d counted them all.
But, on this extraordinarily beautiful day there were no clouds to count.
The perfect day, it seemed, to roll over and watch the ants parading by in an ordinary and
orderly fashion on their daily trips to wherever it is ants go.
Steven watched the ants go marching by and noticed something quite out of the ordinary;
It looked as though some of them were looking back at him. And…it looked like some of them were . . .
Waving . . . ?!
“Waving” ants?! Steven thought he must be seeing things. Because ants don’t’ ordinarily wave, do they? But these ants most certainly were.
Steven waved back and braved a question, “Hi! Where are you guys going?”
“To work . . . to work . . . we’re going off to work!” a thousand tiny voices shouted back.
And now the ants were . . . talking?! “Talking” ants?, Steven could not believe his ears or his eyes. Because ants don’t ordinarily talk. Or, do they?
Waving ants ? !
Talking ants ? !
This was not going to be an ordinary day.
(Illustration and break)
Just then, Steven noticed something scurrying through the soft patch of green grass. Whatever it was, hid behind a small branch which had fallen from the tree of extraordinary proportions.
The best thing to do (under such extraordinary circumstances) was to lie perfectly still and wait.
Because, sooner or later . . .
whatever it was,
hiding behind that small branch from the tree of extraordinary proportions
would have to show itself.
Sooner… or… later.
But, lying so very still
for so very long,
made Steven
so very tired.
With a big yawn, Steven decided that the soft patch of green grass under the tree of extraordinary proportions would make a wonderful bed on such a perfect day. A little nap would be very nice.
(Illustration and break)
Something tickled the inside of his nose and woke Steven up. He imagined that it was one of the waving ants. But, much to his surprise, they were all were gone!
“Maybe I was just dreaming.” Steven thought and almost believed, when . . .
right in front of him
right where the ants had been
right in front of his nose
not an inch away, stood a mouse.
A tiny mouse with tiny reading glasses, wearing a tiny shirt, tickling his nose with a tiny feather.
This was not an ordinary mouse!
Because!
Ordinary mice don’t ordinarily wear clothes!
And!
Ordinary mice don’t ordinarily need reading glasses !
Because!!
ORDINARY MICE DON’T ORDINARILY READ!!!
(This was definitely NOT going to be an ordinary day!)
(Illustration and break)
“Are you okay?” asked a tiny voice.
“Am I asleep?” asked Steven. Certain he was be dreaming, because mice don’t’ talk.
“Hmmm. I don’t believe you are!” the little mouse answered. “Because, if you are then so am I. And I assure you; I am not! It is still daylight and I am not in bed. So, I could not possibly be asleep. Therefore, neither are you! Hi! My whole name is ‘Thomas Wentforth Field’, as in ‘field-mouse’! Get it? My friends call me ‘Tommy’, and I live there! The little mouse said in a single breath as he pointed back toward the tree of extraordinary proportions. “What’s your name?”
“Hi”. (I’m talking to a mouse), Steven thought to himself. “My ‘whole’ name is Mark Steven Calhoun, and my friends call me ‘Steven’ and I live there.” Steven pointed toward his own house without taking his eyes off Tommy for fear he would disappear.
“I knew you lived there. I’ve seen you play, mostly by yourself. ” said Tommy.
(And the mouse is talking to me and his name is, Tommy! This just has to be a dream.). But before Steven had a chance to think about that some more, something terribly noisy came scurrying toward them from the tree of extraordinary proportions.
The closer it came the louder it got!
“Mark my words.”
“Losing Magic is tragic.”
“Oh my. Oh my, my.”
“Losing Magic is tragic.”
“Nothing more tragic than Losing Magic.”
“Mark my words!”
Steven looked at Tommy to see if he was the least bit worried about what this might be scurrying toward them shouting something about “Magic”.
Tommy shuffled his feet, “Uhmm . . . that would be my dad.” he said (seeming a little embarrassed), as another mouse ran through the soft patch of green grass under the tree of extraordinary proportions to stand in front of the two boys. This mouse had reading glasses on his nose, wore a tiny blue jacket with tiny gold buttons and carried a tiny book satchel.
(ORDINARY… MICE… DON’T… ORDINARILY… READ!) was all Steven could think.
(This was absolutely not going to be an ordinary day).
(Illustration and break)
Pushing his sliding spectacles back up his nose where they belonged, Tommy’s dad gave Steven
an extraordinarily stern look and proceeded (once, again) to tell Tommy, “Thomas Wentforth Field! What have I told you? Haven’t I warned you? Are you trying to break your mother’s heart? You know it’s against the rules to let ‘them’ see you. You know ‘they’ve’ lost Magic”. Tommy’s dad scolded as he pointed a tiny finger accusingly at Steven, and for good measure added, “No Magic, no imagination! Mark my words, No good will come of this! Losing Magic is tragic. Losing Magic is tragic! What is this world coming to? Oh my my, tragic, tragic, tragic so very tragic! Must run. Classes to teach, classes to teach!”. (mice really talk fast, Steven thought, and they never breathe). “Don’t let your mother catch you talking to a boy, you’ll break her heart.” was the last thing they heard as Tommy’s dad scurried away through the grass, back toward the tree of extraordinary proportions.
“What was all that about?” Steven asked Tommy still not quite believing he was really awake but getting used to the idea of talking mice.
“Well,” Tommy began, “My dad is headmaster at the ‘Meadowside School for All Those Willing to Learn’. He teaches a class about how a world without imagination, will become, you know, ‘Ordinary’. He says it happens slowly, one person at a time. He believes that ‘they’ (YOU) have already lost most of the Magic in the world. And he thinks that people, you know, people like you and your mom and your dad are too busy doing ordinary ‘people’ stuff to see the world the way it really is. And he thinks that the older ‘they’ (YOU) get to be, the more Magic you lose. Until one day there won’t be any Magic anywhere. Ever! And then, without Magic, the whole world will be ordinary. So, you see, ‘no imagination- no Magic’ and that would be tragic. So, ‘Losing Magic is Tragic!’. He says it all the time.”
While Tommy was busy trying to catch his breath, Steven thought about all the things he had said. He thought about how sad and ordinary the world really would be without imagination or Magic and it made him wonder if he had his own Magic or if he was just an ordinary boy. “So, do you think I have Magic?” Steven asked Tommy, a little afraid the answer might be “No”.
After thinking about the question for what seemed like an extraordinarily long time, Tommy smiled and answered, “That is just silly. Of course you do . Of course you have Magic. You can see me and you met my dad and we are having this conversation, now aren’t we. So, you must have Magic!”
Steven eagerly agreed and exclaimed,“I guess I do have Magic, after all!”, very pleased that his new friend, Tommy (a mouse) thought so.
This made both boys so very happy that they rolled around and around in the soft patch of green grass under the tree of extraordinary proportions, giggling and laughing until their bellies hurt and they just couldn’t laugh anymore. They laid there side by side, holding their stomachs, trying to catch their breath, when Steven had a very unhappy thought; “What if I’m just dreaming and I wake up and I find out that I don’t really have Magic and you’re, gone?!”
“Hmmm …”, Tommy was thinking very hard, again. “Okay, first of all, we’ve already decided you are not dreaming because you are not sleeping. We are talking. You can hear me and I can hear you. You met my dad and you definitely heard him. So, it just makes sense; you must have Magic.” Tommy sounded convinced. “And besides, where would I go? I live right here!” Tommy was a little puzzled by the idea of gone. He couldn’t quite figure out where else he could possibly go. He belonged right here where he had always been, right here under the tree of extraordinary proportions. Tommy decided he would think about that some other time, right now he had to help his new friend believe in his own Magic. He was trying to figure out the best possible way to that when, suddenly, he had a brilliant thought, “I know! Let’s ask my mom. She knows about stuff like this. She knows everything about everything and if she says you have Magic then you have Magic! We can go ask right now. She’s at home baking meadow berry pies”. Then another thought crossed his mind, “ Uhhhmm, wait. There is just one little thing though, I almost forgot . . . she scares easily. So maybe it would be better if you wait here until I talk to her. Okay?”
“Okay, I’ll wait right here.” Steven answered as he watched Tommy run back to the tree of extraordinary proportions and disappear through a tiny door, which he had never really noticed before.
(Illustration and break)
“Mom, mom! Guess what?! I have a new best friend, his name is Steven and he’s really really nice and we’ve been playing and he’s coming over and I have to ask you something, and he’s a boy.” Tommy hoped his mom wouldn’t notice that last part about Steven being a boy.
“A boy/! Your new friend is a boy ?!” Tommy’s mom said nervously. “A real boy?! Oh my, what will your father say? Oh my, my! What will your father say?”
She noticed.
“It’s okay mom, Dad already met my new best friend while we were playing outside on the green patch. I know he’s a boy but he’s my best friend and he’s really, really nice and we’re pretty sure he has Magic but we wanted to ask you to be really sure because you know all about stuff like that”. Tommy kept his fingers crossed behind his back the whole time he was explaining all about Steven. Finally Tommy’s mom agreed, she would be delighted to meet Tommy’s new best friend. Delighted? Yes. But nonetheless worried. Worried she hadn’t baked nearly enough meadow berry pies.
(Illustration and break)
“It’s really okay, mom.”, Tommy encouraged his mom to move a little closer to Steven so she could meet his new best friend. “This is my mom.” he said proudly. “She bakes the best meadowberry pies in the whole wide world! And she knows all about Magic”.
Dusted with flour and carrying a pie in each hand, Tommy’s mom timidly approached Steven. She was still a little nervous about meeting a real boy. “Hello Steven, I’m Mrs. Field as in “field”-mouse. Tommy has told me so much about you and I am very pleased to meet you. I feel as though I already know you from everything he’s told me. I’ve never met a real boy before and I honestly thought I never would”. Tommy’s mom said in single breath and quickly added, “Oh my, this is a most extraordinary day”.“Hi, Mrs. Field, it’s very nice to meet you. I hope I didn’t scare you . . . too much”. Steven said, wishing for the first time he were a whole lot smaller than he was.
“Why, of course not. Don’t be silly. You didn’t scare me one little bit.” Mrs. Field reassured Steven, all the while reassuring herself. “Tommy tells me there seems to be a question as to whether or not you have Magic. Although I am certainly no expert in these matters, I will tell you this; any friend of Tommy’s must have Magic or they would never see him for the wonderful boy he is. And you do. Therefore in conclusion, I will say with all confidence that you most definitely have Magic”. She took a tiny little breath and added, “So, now that we’ve settled that little matter, would you like a meadow berry pie, or . . . two?”.
The pies smelled so delicious that he wanted to say ‘Yes!’. But, remembering his manners, Steven politely refused. “No, thank you, I already ate”.
“Don’t be silly. I won’t take no for answer. You must try them. We have more than enough. I’ve been baking all morning and I lost count. Now we have two too many.” said Mrs. Field as she held the pies up in her hands.
A huge smile spread across Steven’s as he took the meadowberry pies Mrs. Field offered and popped the buttery treats into his mouth one at a time. Yummy! They were the most deliciously sweet pies he had ever tasted. But, they were also the tiniest pies he had ever seen.
“Thank you, Mrs. Field. Those were delicious. The best pies I ever had.” Steven said, remembering his manners as he licked the last bit of goodness from his fingers. “And I’m really glad I didn’t scare you”. He added.
“You are very welcome, Steven! I’m so glad you like them. It’s always nice to meet one of Tommy’s new friends, especially one as polite as you. I do hope you’ll visit again, soon. And because you really do have Magic, I wasn’t scared at all. But, remember; now that you know you have Magic you must never lose it because; losing Magic is tragic”. Mrs. Field smiled at Steven and gave Tommy a quick kiss on the cheek. “Now Tommy, don’t be late for supper you know how your father gets. Well, I must run. Pies to bake! Pies to bake!”. The words trailed off as Mrs. Field scurried back to the tree of extraordinary proportions and disappeared through the tiny door.
As Steven was delighting in the last bit of buttery sweetness, Tommy suddenly jumped up and shouted, “See, I told you. You DO have Magic, my mom said so! Now we can be best friends forever! And you can come over anytime you want and we can play and I can show you my stuff and you can meet my other friends and maybe I can come to your house”. And just in case that wasn’t enough, Tommy quickly added, “And besides, my mom bakes meadowberry pies all the time!”.
“We’re going to do all kinds of fun stuff together!”, Steven excitedly agreed and smiled at his new best friend, who happened to be, a mouse. “By the way, do you like to count clouds?”
(Illustration and break)
On this anything but ordinary day, Steven had discovered he really did have Magic. And best of all, he had found a new friend right in his very own backyard! And, there were also Mrs. Field’s deliciously sweet and buttery meadow berry pies to dream about. And so began the most extraordinary friendship between a boy and a mouse. A friendship filled with the Magic of Imagination. Steven and Tommy would share many great adventures together, as best friends do.
(This is the end of this story and the beginning of many more.)
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The world would, indeed be tragic without magic.I like the premise and i like the fact that the personalities of your animlas were very well drawn. I enjoyed the marching ants and the tree with ordinary porportions. You used a lot of repititions which will get childrens attention and help them to remember the message in the story. I reaqd this to my 6 year-old grandaughter and she loved it. So what does that tell you. A child’s imaginaton is the magic. It is a gift. You show how that works here. Steven and Tommy learned that they werespecial and that everyone is magic in their own right. Thanks Sandi
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Looking at it from a children’s perspective I think they would enjoy it. For the most part the story has an upbeat and cheerful theme which most children would enjoy reading. I think you displayed their friendship very nicely and the children could relate to it in their everyday lives. It has been a long time since I read those kind of books so I’m no expert at reviewing them, but I think you have a chance at getting it published.
Very cute story. I read this to my nine-year old grandchild to see what she thought. She loved it, she found the “waving ants” so funny. She said she could just see Steve and Tommy under the big tree. I felt the story flowed well and kept her attention. The story made her use her imagination.
(I am new so I am ranking a little higher than my gut tells me it it. Until I learn the rules.)
First, what age group is this? I would watch word choice for that reason.
I understand the thinking behind the word “extraordinary.” However, after the second page, it is ackward and repetitive.
Secondly, I would remove all adverbs and replace their verbs with stronger ones.
Examples:
“One sunny summer day, Steven went to his backyard to play, as he ordinarily did. His favorite place in the whole wide world was a soft patch of green grass under a tree of extraordinary proportions.”
~Scratch Sunny. Part of this is allowing the reader to imagine. Sunny is implied in summer.
~ Steven arrived, maybe? Something stronger than went?
~ I’d lose wide world.
~ ...in the world was a soft patch of grass… same idea, allow reader to imply in their mind.
~ ...watch the ants parading by in an ordinary and
orderly fashion on their daily trips to wherever it is ants go… Ackward when read out loud. Maybe “Ants paraded by on their way to wherever ants go.” Still ackward.
~ Watch redundant lines that repeat.
~ Say no to ”?!”
~ Say no to ”!”
Hope this helps. Oh… I love the title.
Few places like this. I am sure it comes from looking at the work for so long you don’t see them any longer. “But, much to his surprise, they were all were gone!”
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