Novel Treatments / Jewish for a Summer

Jewish for a Summer
Chapter One
The year was 1944 and the Nazis were in control of Germany. Adolf Hitler was in command of the Third Reich and the
Jews were being persecuted throughout Europe. One by one, Polish, German and Hungarian towns were being ambushed
by the SS and Nazi soldiers. Jewish families, some of which were the best people you would ever meet, left, never to be seen
again. There were but a few towns, the summer before the liberation, that had been untouched by the death angels of the Nazi
regime. Mine was one of them.

I was friends with many of the Jewish families in our town, but the best friend that I ever had was Adalia Porshkav.
She was Jewish, as was her family. She was an only child, but we were more like siblings than my brother and I were.
We got along quite well, my brother and I, but no one would know me half as well as my best friend. No one had anything
against their Jewish neighbors until Hitler and the Nazi administration came to power and placed blame for the post World
War I problems on their innocent hands. Germany was in terrible condition, economically and morally, so there needed to be
a scapegoat, something that someone could blame for the mess that had hit. The Jews were just fortunate enough to become
what they never thought they would. They became the hunted.

Even though my parents received and read the propaganda, it was everywhere, I never agreed with the inappropriate
allegations against my friend, her family or any of the people that they went to church with. None of it mattered to me.
I was a girl of fifteen, but I was still aware that the world was cruel to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, religion,
physical appearance, sex or intelligence. Word had gotten out that the Jews were deported, from all over Europe into
concentration camps and ghettos, the handiwork of our fearless leader. We were all told that this was to preserve our
right to be a clean and pure “Aryan” race, free from the schemes of the Jewish people. Many of the Jewish families in our
little town didn’t worry. There was so much that had happened during the war, for so many years our little town was
undiscovered by the Nazis, SS and Gestapo that no one thought that it would happen to us… but it did.

It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon and I had just come home from school. At the time, we were not allowed to
educate any Jew. Another of my neighbors arrived at her home, just as I had come inside to talk and tell her about my day,
and was quite disturbed. I didn’t blame him. The news that he delivered was the beginning of a life of horror for all of us.
My feelings were always horrible during the school day. Adalia was my only friend and it was quite obvious that I was
unhappy, but mother and father didn’t care at all. They wanted what was best for me and they often expressed their
unhappiness that I was still friends with a Jewish family after everything they had done. I told mother that I didn’t believe
the nonsense,  but it was still apparent to her that they had done something wrong. I guess she felt that if I was happy with
being her friend, there really wasn’t too much that could be done to get in my way. She did want me happy, but she wouldn’t
let me quit school just because I wasn’t getting along with all the other German girls and boys my age. I guess I can’t blame her.
My school gave top notch education and I grew up all the better for it.

“THE NAZIS ARE COMING TO COLLECT JEWISH PEOPLE AND TAKE THEM AWAY!
GATHER YOUR THINGS AS QUICKLY AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN AND YOU MAY BE ABLE
TO ESCAPE IN TIME,” he was so fearful that he encouraged them to take nothing and leave before anything
could happen. Adalia and I clung to each other tightly. Her parents ran to gather their things. I told her that we
would figure something out. No one can say that I lacked spontaneity at that age.

I knew, deep down, that my friend and her family wouldn’t be able to get out in time. We were so isolated from the other
towns, by the surrounding mountains, that there was no where to run. I had to help her. I was not immune to the stories that
were passed about. I knew what would happen to the Jews once they left our town.

“Adalia, I can take your place! I know that you won’t be able to escape. You can’t go, you just can’t! I will gather my things
and I will go. My brother will help you out. He is against the Nazis, too. I know that I can pull it off and you can be safe.
Once I am let out, or get out of there, I will find you. I promise.”

“Adalgisa… Addie, no! No, Addie! I can’t let you do this. They will know! How can you do that anyway?! It isn’t even
remotely possible. You are my best friend. I know what they do to Jews. I have heard. I won’t let you do this!”

“Too late. You know how stubborn I am. I have made up my mind. My brother will go ahead of us and take you out as soon
as you have everything that you need. You can put a good picture of yourself in my passport, so, if the Nazis stop you, there
will be a passport to keep you safe. You can be me! We can’t let your mother or father know.They would never agree. We
can’t tell my parents, either. Now hurry, go, quickly! I promise that nothing will happen to me and I promise, I promise that
I will find you. We will see each other again!”

When I hugged her, a tear ran down my cheek; my pale, white cheek. That was the last time that I would ever see her and
I knew that there was no turning back. I knew that I would never see my friend again. I told myself, right there, that I would
not let myself give up, no matter how bad life became. I would not die, I would not give up without a fight. I would fight for
her, my other friends and all of the Jewish people that had been wronged by the Nazis’ “noble” endeavor. With that last
thought, I was ready to run and get my brother.

“Go!” I said again, face wet and red.

“You are the best friend that a girl could ever have. I love you, Addie. She began to cry, too.
She ran up to me and hugged me one last time. She then kissed me on my left cheek. “I just pray to
God that nothing happens. I will always keep hope.”

I walked into my house, but my mother and father were not there. Mother had left a note on the kitchen table that read,
“Gone to market for bread and milk. Be back soon. Mother.” Father was at work, as usual. He was a shoemaker. He
always smelled of leather and polish, but it was the best smell in the world to me. My brother was in the back room,
peacefully sitting under the lamp in the library. He was reading a book for class.

“How was your day?” He asked, holding his index finger at the middle of the page, where he had paused for a short
while to talk to me.

“Fine, but I have a favor to ask of you. It is important to me and I need this more than anything. Please tell me
that you will help.”

“What exactly is it that you want done?” he asked me, a little uneasy. I was going to tell him something that he
didn’t want to hear and he knew it.

“The Nazis, I don’t know how many or when, are coming to take the Jews away. I want you to get Adalia out of here
and hide her away. I could never forgive myself if I let her go.”

“But she goes to Temple. They have a roster. She is on it. How will they not know that she is missing… wait… don’t
answer that.”

“I am going to take her place, and she is going to take mine. I have given her my passport, where she is to place her
picture, and remove mine. There will be no me. I will no longer exist as a German schoolgirl. I will be Jewish.”

“I can’t let you do this. I will take her away, keep her safe, but I will not let you do this to yourself. The Nazis will kill you!”

“That is a risk that I am going to have to take. I have heard stories about what happens. I know that none of the people in
this village believe them, but I do. I know what may happen. I have seen a drawing or two. I have even heard and I
know what I am doing. I have to do this.”

“I love you. You are the only sister I have. What will mom and dad have to say?! I can’t lie to them and they would
know that I would be lying. You know that I have never been good at lying.”

“ You cannot tell them. I can’t let them know. Maybe, once I have gone, you can let them know that I have faith and
I will get through this. I love you very much. Them too. I just can’t let her go. I can’t! Please, do this for me. As a brother
and as a friend. Wouldn’t you go if it were me?”

“Of course I would, but you are not going, right? You just aren’t. Please tell me that this is a sick joke and that you
are not leaving with Nazis as a Jew. Tell me that it is a dream. Yes, I am dreaming a horrible dream and when I wake
up everything will be as it was.”

“I would love to tell you that. I would love to tell you that my best friend would be here in the morning if I don’t do this.
I would love to tell you that Hitler isn’t in power and that Nazis don’t exist. I would love to tell you that there isn’t
Anti-Semitism or an “Aryan” race. I would love to tell you that Nazis are not going to take away any more people.
There is only one problem with telling you that. It isn’t true. It isn’t fantasy. I am leaving as Adalia and I will no longer
be me. I will be a Jew.”

“No… “ He shed one tear and then sniffled back the others hiding in his boyish blue eyes. He knew that it was goodbye
and that there was nothing he could do to change my mind. Nothing.

“Yes. There isn’t much time and I need to know whether I can trust you with this. Please? I have to pack my things.”

“I… shall do this…. for you… my sister. I love you more than anything else. You must know that.” He smiled and hugged me.
That was the last time I ever saw my brother.

I ran back to my room and found an old leather suitcase that my father had when he was a small boy. I opened the dusty
latches only to find a single picture of my father and my mother when they were young. I held it to my breast and cried.
I wouldn’t ever get to say goodbye. Through cloudy eyes, I managed to rummage through my things to find warm clothes,
undergarments and plenty of summerwear. After all, it was June. I grabbed a small string of pearls from my mother’s
jewelry box and packed them in my extra pair of walking shoes. I grabbed a brush and my doll, Lyssy, from the bed
and waited, impatiently, for the future that was impossible to imagine, even in the darkest of nightmares. At least in a
nightmare, you can wake up.

Chapter Two

I walked outside of my front door, only to find a Nazi soldier, at seeing my suitcase, yell, “Juden! Jew! This is one of them!”

They stuck a gun to my face and there is no other feeling like it in the world. I saw my life flash before my eyes,
not that I was all that old at the time anyway. My brother had gone away with my friend, the one that I just replaced,
and I feared that I would never see the next day. It was not an irrational fear. I knew what could happen. Hitler and
the Nazis made it a game to play God. It was unfair and maniacal even to think that they had the right to give and take
lives as they pleased. But there is always a difference between a leader and a power abuser. Hiler made people feel
secure. That was the biggest thing to overcome… everyone believed him.

Luckily, a Nazi soldier led me to a place where they were collecting all of the Jews together. I was in a small group of
about twenty-five Jewish people. That only added up to five families. There were three older people, one man and two
women, each over the age of seventy. There were fourteen children that were thirteen years old or younger. I don’t
remember how many of each gender. Then there was a girl, fourteen, that I had known from school, when Jews were
allowed to learn publically, but had barely socialized with her. It wasn’t that she was not likable, she was just anti-social.
She did well and she looked like the perfect “Aryan” girl. Her only crime was her religion. She was a good person, so
why was she being taken away from her life like this? It wasn’t fair! This thing that was happening to me, I must say,
was by choice and then there was no turning back. How can you turn back once you have been added to the list.
The one that would change your life forever. There were men and women. There were three babies! There were other
young Jewish boys that were mischievous, but still, they were bearable. There was nothing that had constituted as a
crime against their names. Their only crime was what exactly? Being? Was that their charge? If so, the Nazis, too, were
at fault for that.

When they had gathered all of the Jews together in the center square of town, a soldier came to an SS officer with
the roll from the synagogue. There really was no turning back. He called out names. When Adalia’s mother and father’s
name was called, there was an answer from both. Her mother was crying, then she saw me. Adalia was called and I
answered in her name. The eyes on her mother widened. She walked towards me, it could have almost been mistaked
as a shuffle.

“Where is my daughter?! What are you doing here?! Why are you taking her name?!”

“Ma’am, my brother has taken Adalia somewhere safe, she will need for nothing and no one will know that she is Jewish
where he is taking her. I am taking her place because I cannot let her go to face what I know everyone here will face. I
know what I am doing and if you care, at all, about what happens to her, you must keep quiet. You must!”

“Oh, my dear, there is nothing that you can do. You do not need to do this. We are strong, there is God on our side.
I don’t think that we will have much to fear. I know what can happen, too. I have also heard the stories, seen the
propaganda and I know all about what we may face ahead. At least I have faith. Stay with us, so nothing looks suspicious.
You are the best friend that we have ever had. I hope you know what you are getting yourself into.”

“No one knows,” I said truthfully. No one had any idea what we would face in the next few months.

After all of the names on the roster were accounted for, we walked to vehicles that drove us several miles to a train station
that had several wooden cars. A soldier yelled, ‘Women and Children on left, Men and Boys over 14 on right.’ We did as
they said. I just want to know why they did what they did.

The women were loaded into a car and the men were split from us to be put in another car. The children that were big enough
to be separated from their mothers filled up the remaining cars. I just know that there was a lot of screaming. I heard one
gunshot, but I never saw anything. I still don’t know what actually happened, but I have a good idea.

Once all of the cars were filled, all of the doors were shut and sealed tight. Besides a single crack here and there in the wooden
frames, there was no light. The train started slow and I can still hear the sound of babies crying and mothers hushing their little
ones. For about two days we were in the train, never stopping and what food we did have was what we had taken with us from
our homes, sneakily. There were people going to the bathroom everywhere and there were moans and groans the entire time
that we were moving. I don’t think that I slept at all the entire way.

At once, we heard a whistle and felt the train slowing, gradually, until it came to a halt, almost too soon. As soon as there
was enough time to grab footing, everyone began to move from their uncomfortable positions and stretched with what little
room we had to use. Suddenly, our door came unlocked and the blinding sunlight entered the room, causing everyone to
turn away from it like vampires at dawn. We were helped out of the cars by men that didn’t look pleasant. I knew at once
that life, as it once had been, was no more.

Chapter Three
When we were all out of the train, we were oblivious as to where we were. No one knew. Everyone was tired, hungry
and we all needed to shower. None of the uneasiness ever went away. Maybe it would be our terrible fate. A fate of those
destined to watch everything be ripped away. A fate of those who had a happy life, free from the terrors of watching death,
prejudice and pain erupt. It was unfair.

The man who helped me off of the train stared into my eyes. He was a handsome boy, one I had guessed to be
about seventeen or eighteen. He walked up to me. He whispered in my ear. My heart was racing. I thought that he
was a Nazi. I was wrong.

“If you have any talents, such as sewing, tell them. Tell them if you want to live. I have been hear for twelve months
and I know that if you want to live, you must tell them. My name is Miska. I was deported from Hungary.
Do as they say and volunteer. I beg you, if you want to live. You are in Auschwitz.
They will take you to the woman’s camp, Berkinau,” he said politely. He wanted me to live more than I did!

“Thank you,” I said to him, “My name is Adalgis…. Adailia. My name is Adalia.”

I had forgotten that I was not me. I was Adalia. Adalgisa did not exist. I was not the German girl that I was three days ago,
happy and free. I was my friend, a Jewish girl, the enemy to so many people. I was a girl that didn’t own her life anymore.
I was alone and there was no one to help me. (Except for Miska.)

“I will be seeing you, Adalia.”

I smiled. “Please, Miska, call me Addie.”

“Very well, Addie then. I will be seeing you.”

I smiled even bigger and he smiled back and pointed to the soldiers that were separating us into groups.

“All women and children, go to right. Men and boys over fourteen to left.”

We all did as they said with a few exceptions that stayed with their families. Those who did not cooperate were
ripped away from each other into the areas in which we were told. They examined us as though we were bugs, vermin
that needed to be gone immediately. I saw the malice and hatred in their eyes.

The commander of the camp, whoever that was, shouted, “You will all be given showers once you put your belongings
at the stations so that they can be taken to your bunks. You needn’t worry about anything; they will be given back to you.
Give your jewelry to the guards at the corresponding station and your clothes to the other guards at that station and so on.
When you are done, you will be taken to the showers. Before we move you along in the line, are there any women who are
seamstresses?”

I raised my hand. A guard walked by me and asked whether it was my son that was clinging to my leg.

“No,” I said, “I have come alone.”

He then told me to step forward and several other women stepped forward as well. There were only three out of the fifty
or so women that stepped forward. Only three stepped forward! Mothers, grandmothers, sisters, friends, all gone.

The guard then asked for all of the shoemakers and blacksmiths to step forward. About ten men stepped forward. Only
one was older than thirty. Several boys, about nineteen or twenty years old. They were just starting life, some had girlfriends
and wives over on the other side that didn’t get to step forward. Little did they know, they would never be able to hold them
again. They would never be able to kiss them, take them out late at night; they would never get to touch or make love or laugh
with their wives, girlfriends, lovers ever again.

Terrifying isn’t it? Not knowing what happens. Life, one second, can be beautiful, moving, free. The next, your life, whatever
is left of it, could be your disgrace. It could be your only thing left. When life is all that you have left, you are humbled to the
point where every freedom, such as taking a walk, reading, singing, laughing at a joke, is like being handed the best gift you
could ever receive. Life isn’t meaningless when you are fighting to live it.

The three of us were asked to join the men that were smiths and such. We were then told to leave all of our belongings in piles.
We didn’t need to walk through the stations, we just left everything right there. The only thing that I had left on me was the one
picture of my mother and father and brother and I and a picture of Adalia and I. That was the only thing that I had. The only
thing out of an entire suitcase. My mother’s pearls were gone. My father’s suitcase vanished forever. I never saw what meant
to me most, possession wise, again.

There were several of us that stood side by side just wondering what would happen. We whispered amongst ourselves. I had a
huge sense of relief that I was making friends. A Nazi guard quickly walked our way and told us that we were to form a single
line and walk through the gate. At the top, there was a sign that read “Arbet Macht Fret”.Work Makes Free. As soon as
we stepped through the gate, we were all sent to our bunks. Men were sent one way and the women were sent the other.
I know now, that I was lucky to even see the barracks. I met a young Jewish woman, only nineteen years old, by the name
of  Elsie.

Elsie said that she was taken from hiding and that her mother and father had already been taken to Dachau.
She hadn’t seen them in over a year. She didn’t know what happened to them, but she too, had only
volunteered in order to save her life. She had seen a mass shooting in her town and was amazed that she was still alive.
She was taking care of her younger brother and her grandmother when the SS found them hiding in an old shed in the town
where German soldiers were rounding up the Jews. She thought that she and her family, what was left of it, would make it to
the end. She had hoped that things would go back to the way things were, but she knew that, without her parents, and
her little sister who was killed by the Nazis when she was only two, it was impossible to even consider going back to
normal. The happy years had faded. The childhood of blissful memories, the summers running barefooted in the fields,
the rummaging through the family heirlooms, they were all gone.

I had no idea what had happened to her, but this girl, whoever she was, would be a lifeline. We were right next to
each other. We shared a bunk with two other girls, one who looked to be about forty-five and one who looked a little
younger than the first. I later found out that the one I thought to be in her mid forties was only twenty two. The other
was only twenty seven! These women were no where near the age I had guessed. Time had no place here and if it
did, one minute became a lifetime. That extra minute to live was another breath, another chance to feel the wind on your
skin, to see the scorching sun that had once been so beautiful. That minute meant the difference between life and death.
That was one of the most life changing experiences of my existence. I didn’t know whether they had even the strength to
move from the middle bunk. I knew that whatever happened here, I would be lucky to escape it.

As soon as we thought we would have time to rest- the drowsiness quickly came upon us- a soldier, or what looked like
a soldier came in and said, “Follow me! Quickly!”

We both did as he said, unaware as to whether we were actually complying willingly or by force. We walked outside the
barracks and then followed the man to a shack-like building that had a window with a small section of glass broken from it.

The building was for the seamstresses. He sat each of us down where a new table was set with clothes that needed
mending and needles and everything that we needed to get the job done. The man shouted, “Get to work! Now!”

I sat down at my place and picked up my first assignment. It was a uniform that had to have belonged to an officer.
The pocket was halfway off and there were two buttons missing from the front of the shirt. It didn’t take long for me
to reattach buttons, but the pocket was something else altogether. Everything went well up until I reached the near
top of the pocket. The thread decided to tangle on me. With the little bit of thread that was still working, I tied a
knot and cut it from the needle. I grabbed the spool of thread and re-threaded the needle and finished the pocket. I
finished four suits before sunset and I reattached six missing buttons on a brown winter coat that I recognized. I resembled
the one that father used to wear on the cold, winter days in the outskirts of Germany. At sundown, we were all dismissed to
our bunks. I was tired and hungry, so I just collapsed on the bed. I looked at the bunk to the left only to see two beautiful
sea-green eyes staring into mine. I didn’t recognize the face at first, but it took no time after the face whispered, “How
was your first day of work? I hope that the guards weren’t too hard on you. They tend to be horrible to the beautiful
young women here. Especially since you don’t look as malnourished as the others.”

“Miska, is that you?”

“Yes, it is me. I didn’t know that they would put you in here. This is the warmest barrack. You are lucky. So am I. I have
someone to talk to. They don’t generally stick men and women together, but they needed to bring a strong
set of hands over here to fix some of the things the women couldn’t do. Men’s work,” he said and smiled to
show his beautiful smile.

“No, it wasn’t horrible. I am just happy to be alive. I know what happens when you go to the showers. I have heard.
That is where Addie’s, my mother went. I know that I won’t see her again. And, besides the incessant yelling, the guards
I can handle. I am not scared. I know that I should be, but I am not. I have faith. Whether they beat it from me or not. I
will keep faith.”

“Hey, you are a fun one. So much spirit. Everyone has nothing, so they just trudge
through life, oblivious to everything around them. We just care that we wake up another day. You mind if I ask a little bit
about you?”

To this I nodded. If he asked me about the way I stammered between third person and first person, then I would answer
truthfully, but I would volunteer nothing.

“Okay. First question. How old are you?”

What a good start. “Fifteen. You?”

“Seventeen. I will be eighteen on Friday. Where are you from?”

“On the outskirts of Germany. I am from a very small town; that is why they didn’t deport us until today.”

“Oh. Do you have any siblings?”

“Yes. I have a brother. And a sister. They both escaped the Nazis.”

“What was your sister’s name?”

“Adalia… I mean Adalgisa. I am Adalia.”

“Question five. Why do you mix those names up? Don’t you know your own name, or has this place really
gotten to you in this short amount of time?”

I knew it. He would have to be the one to pry and hit the nail right on the head in just five minutes. He must know. I have
to tell him. The best way to start a relationship is with honesty. I will tell him. ‘Go on, tell him!!!’ I said to myself.  I just
couldn’t at that time. It was too risky.

“I will tell you soon, but right now, I need to sleep. I will see you in the morning?”

“I doubt it… I am not supposed to be in here… this is the women’s camp and let’s face it… I am not a woman… I kind of
only exist here until they move me back to the men’s camp. I have been here and I tend to do a lot for the guards. I am
compliant and able bodied, so they let me have much more freedom than I am “deserved”… so I don’t know when you
will see me next. Let’s just pray we meet again soon.Good night and sweet dreams,” said the handsome, mysterious man that
I called Miska.

“You too.”

“I don’t dream anymore. Maybe tonight I will. I hope that God will send me dreams of you. Goodnight,”
he whispered and seemed to disappear as swiftly as he had entered into my life.

Chapter Three

The door swung open loudly and a guard yelled loudly, “Everyone up, up !! Come for role call and then to your
stations, all of you. Filthy Jewish maggots.”

I rolled to the side and saw Miska looking down at me. He smiled. “Good morning. Would you like some
nice hot tea and biscuits this morning, or would you like eggs and pancakes drowning in syrup?”

“Don’t even joke like that. It isn’t even funny. I know I am not getting any of that and I am salivating like a dog.”

“Sorry. It is time to get up, though. Might I escort you outside? If you can’t have your dreams, may I have my dream
of a beautiful girl at my side come true?”

“Sure. And don’t talk about that beautiful stuff. I am filthy and I haven’t even brushed my hair.”

“Let’s go, and you are beautiful, Addie.”

He extended his muscular arm out to me and I saw a burn on his wrist. I stared at it and touched it with my cold fingers.

“It’s just a scratch. Come now.”

We lined up in no particular order. I stood at his side, not touching him at all. My hands were down at my sides and my
shoulders were back and my head was straight. My eyes scouted the yard, seeing men and women, all mentally and emotionally
dead. When their number was called, they didn’t move, but they showed it, as it was tattooed on their arm.
My name was called, and I realized that I didn’t have a number. They didn’t give me one. Miska grabbed my hand and
squeezed it. He whispered. ‘Don’t be afraid. It only stings for a little while and then it is gone.’ I knew that he wouldn’t
lie to me. I wasn’t afraid as my fingers unlaced from his and I was taken to a line where others that arrived yesterday were.
They all stood single file and waited for their name to be called. There were a few screams, but then, nothing. My name was
called only minutes after my arrival. I sat in a chair and a woman that had contempt in her eyes wrote a number next to my
name. Then, she handed me the paper and I sat in the next chair where the number was placed on my forearm. The number
had six digits. My number was 336-294. Miska was wrong. I was thinking about him the whole time it was on my arm. It
didn’t even tickle. His face was just there, smiling proudly in my mind. A guard had to hit me on the back of the head to get
me to move. He didn’t hit hard, though, thankfully. I walked back to the yard, and the role was still being called. Miska was
still there, standing tall. I walked over and stood beside him. He smiled.

“It wasn’t so bad, was it? Let me see?”

“It didn’t hurt when it happened, but it is starting to sting now.” I looked at the blue ink that stained my pale arm. The skin
around it was swelling and starting to turn red. He looked down at it and said that it will heal in a few days. ‘Don’t worry
and if you find anything that is nice and cool, it will stop the burning.’ Then he bent down to it and kissed the two and nine.

“If that doesn’t help, then I hope that this will make it better.”

I felt my knees start to shake and it took everything that I had to remain upright and to make it seem like it didn’t do anything
to me. Yeah, right. He was so handsome and I didn’t care whether he was Jewish or not. It didn’t bother me one bit. To many
of the Hitler-Nazi children, this would have been a crime punishable by death. I didn’t care. At that moment, I knew that I loved
Miska. I loved a Jew.

Chapter Four
That day at work, I fixed so much that I didn’t think there could be much more to fix. I was wrong. I fixed so many uniforms
that I thought I had sewn an entire army with three spools of thread. All the while, I was thinking of Miska. I kept letting the
picture of him kissing my arm flow through my mind, not letting anything make the day bad. When the officers came in to
observe the work that had been done, they shrugged in pleasure at how much I had done. When they had seen my work
and how little this other girl had done, they hit her. They hit her across the face, they kicked her in the shin. They asked
why she didn’t do as much as I could do and I almost yelled, ‘I am more skilled than she!’ but I knew better. I didn’t want
anything that would make me a target. Even though I was a target anyway, I knew better. I wasn’t afraid to fight back because
of religion. I knew that I should fight back, that we all should, but there was nothing that I would do to make things worse
than they already were.

When she cried, they shot her, right there! They hit her across the left cheek and told her that she was nothing but a waste and
then they shot her in the head. That poor girl only didn’t do as much as I did and she was killed! She just cried and it was for a
good reason. It is not a crime to cry when you are in pain. It is an important thing to do when you are feeling the emotions that
we felt there. We were nothing more than chickens that were never fed, never let out of their cage and placed in the middle of
a field where foxes were surrounding us, taunting us, torturing us. There was no where for us to go. We were trapped in a
huge ball of nothingness, a black hole, for which we were never to escape.

That day scared me. I will never forget it. It was the first day of a long train of deceit and blood that never ceased.

When I went back to the barracks, with no food, I was not hungry. The appetite had changed when I saw
Miska waiting on my bunk, with a little piece of bread that he had been saving. It was a little hard, but I didn’t
care. He was so wonderful, waiting patiently for me to sit and catch my breath.

“How was your day?” he said, waiting for my response, but before I could answer, he shot back with, “Are
you all right, Addie?”

“I saw a woman murdered today because I worked faster and made more than she had. I had mended more
than she had and that was the only reason that they killed her. I am the reason that she is dead. I feel so guilty, Miska.”

He held me, so tightly. I began to cry. He told me that I shouldn’t let these things get to me. Even though they
are horrible, there is nothing that we could do about it. I knew he was wrong. There were so few of them and there
were so many of us. I did not know why we were scared of these men that we clearly outnumbered in both strength
and count. It didn’t seem logical that we would sit and do nothing.

“Here, eat this. I know that it isn’t much, but make sure that you keep your strength. I wish there were something I could
do to help you. If there is anything that you need that is within my power, I will do it. Whatever it is, I will do it for you.”

“Thank you, Miska, you are the best friend that I have ever had. I am happy that you found me when you did. I may owe
you my life,” I said, hoping, maybe, just maybe, that he would notice that I was flirting, albeit cautiously.

“Well, maybe you can return the favor someday. I just hope that we both live that long. Now, do you want to continue
getting to know each other? I think that it would be nice for you to know the person who is holding you,” he hinted, knowing
that I wouldn’t refuse talking to him.

“Of course. Do you want me to go first?” I questioned, hoping he would reply with approval.

“Sure. What do you want to know, Addie?” he, thankfully, asked, giving me the permission to ask the first question.

“What was your family like? Were you an only child? Were you the youngest or oldest. Tell me everything.”

“I was born the second of three children, but I always received the most attention because I always clinged to my father.
He was a shoemaker, and I loved the smell of the leather and polish. Everyday since I was about six, I woke up with him,
got ready and went to work with him until school, then after school, I would go back to the shop and help him in any way
that I could. He was fun, the way any father should be. My older brother, Hans, was never jealous. He wanted to be a
doctor, so shoes didn’t stand between us. My younger sister wasn’t angry when father showed me attention either. She
always loved matka best, which was a very good compromise. Everything was as pleasant, as if we were all left in euphoria.
So, what about you?” he explained.

“Umm… this may sound really weird, but my father was also a shoemaker. I was never as interested in the job as you are,
but it always thrilled me when he came home, smelling of wood, leather and polish. It is the best smell in the world to me.
It is what I think about when I am feeling upset. Father was always well tempered. He could make me laugh at anything,”
I confided, knowing that with each word, we were coming closer together. I loved this man, and it didn’t take more than
two days. I had never thought it possible to love someone as much as I loved Miska. I didn’t know it at the time, but he
loved me too. I never knew because I was too busy flirting, trying to plead telepathically for him to kiss my lips, make me
feel loved, protected, secure. He couldn’t hear my thoughts, but deep inside, I was hoping that he would be wishing for
the same thing.

“Well, it doesn’t matter anymore,” he said to me, “Things change, time passes, but there is one thing that these men cannot
take away. They can not make us forget the wonderful life we had before this mockery of living. They can strangle our
freedom, they can drown our pride, but our memories of laughter and love can never be taken away. Until our last
breath, we can remember happiness of yesterday and pray that it will come again. Right now, I am the happiest man in
the world. All of the things I had before are gone and right now, at this moment, a glimpse of that joy has been placed
in my eyes.”

I had to tell him what was going on. Even if he didn’t trust me anymore, I would be okay with it. I loved him and
at least he would know the truth. He could betray me and let me die, but I didn’t care. Anything was better than
lying to him. I had to have faith.

“I have never been happier either. You are a wonderful man, Miska, but there is something that I need to tell you.”

“Tell me anything,” he smiled contentedly into my eyes, seeing my soul.

I paused for a moment, to reflect on everything that had happened the last few days and hoped, with all my soul,
that everything would work out.

“I am not Adalia. My name is Adalgisa and I am not Jewish. I am a German girl. I took my friend’s place here to save
her life.”

“You took her place knowing what you knew? How could you do that? Why didn’t you just let her go?”

“Because friends are meant to be your shoulder, someone you can count on to be there for you when things get rough.
She was the best friend I had. I couldn’t just let her go. So here I am. I knew about the camps. And I knew that I could
very possibly die just getting here, but I didn’t care. I had my brother Georg take her to a safe haven. I fixed her picture onto
my passport and now she is me. I am her.”

“That is the craziest thing I have ever heard in my life. But it is also the most amazing thing I have ever heard. You are
so fascinating. I can’t believe you would do that for a Jew,” he sat there baffled at my speech.

“Well, how about you believe that I would do that for another human being?” I countered.

“I love you,” he said to me. I looked at his face and I knew it was true. Of all the things that could have happened to me in
Auschwitz, that confession had created one more loss than I had to lose. With those words, I had made Miska one more
thing I couldn’t live without. Every day after that, I would just anticipate having my new world ripped apart from me, just like
it had been before.

I slept soundly that night; the last night I can ever remember actually having the ability to do so.

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