Thanks for the perspective. I did not think of that. I will consider the change.
Children's / My Special Hero
Dedicated to my son who inspired this story, and to my husband who is an American soldier and our son’s special hero.
-—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—-
My special hero is someone that I know can you guess what his job is?
-—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—-
He wears a uniform, but he is not a police man.
-—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—-
He rides in a truck, but he is not a fireman.
-—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—-
He saves lives, but he is not a doctor.
-—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—-
He gives hope to many, but he is not an athlete.
-—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—-
My special hero is my daddy.
-—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—-
He is an American soldier.
-—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—-
Sometimes he goes far away for a long time, but I know that he will come home to me. -
-—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—-
And that he still loves me very much.
-—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—---—-
The end!
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
Rowling reviewed Version 5 -
Read 100% of the Item
This 28 word review has not been unlocked.
GVaughn reviewed Version 5 -
Read 100% of the Item
This 156 word review has not been unlocked.
batwriter79 reviewed Version 5 -
Read 100% of the Item
Reading it I thought it was to short, but it’s perfect for children and for the American soliders to read together.
- add/view comments (0)
HermiG reviewed Version 5 -
Read 100% of the Item
I think this is very important, both to cheer up the children and parents. I really like how you’ve compared soldiers to other important jobs.
“Sometimes he goes far away for a long time, but I know that he will come home to me.”
I would probably have changed this to:
“Sometimes I don’t see him for a very long time, but I know that he will come home to me”
Since it both seems more personal and more from a boy’s perspective. I don’t think a boy would care where his father was as long as he wouldn’t be able to be able to see him.
karrina reviewed Version 5 -
Read 100% of the Item
as the daughter and sister of american soldiers i can so relate to this. i love this. have you thought about putting pictures with each page? i think that would work very well in this instance. nice work.
sjvance reviewed Version 5 -
Read 100% of the Item
Good writing, the story flows well and will make children think along the way, trying to figure out what the “special hero” does and who it is.
Kye reviewed Version 5 -
Read 100% of the Item
Okay. I feel the best way to review this piece is to go over the criteria you have asked for rankings on and explain why I said what I said.
There were 13 criteria given.
1-4 asked about a publisher/agent/agent advice. I ranked these low because I’m not a publisher or agent and I can not give you the same feedback one of those may give you. I can only give my opinion as reader of your piece.
5-8 asked about publishability. I ranked them low because I do not have enough information about your writings to make a judgement. (ex: you asked if this could be published in a book of your writings. I have not read anything else by you so I do not know.) I also believe there is some work to do before this piece would be ready for publication. Mainly, I wanted you to have a bit more about what it means to be a soldier. What they do, because a child may not know. Do the men and women justice and let the children see what they do.
9. Talent over all 7
10 Children over all 7
11 Be admired for 5
12 Clarity 5
13 Amuse/Entertain/Warm Hearts 6
I feel that your scores would be higher, once you give us a bit more.
It is a grand idea. I do not see many children’s books praising soldiers. Flesh it out a bit and give the service people their due. Best of luck.
J_Lynn reviewed Version 5 -
Read 100% of the Item
This 139 word review has not been unlocked.
chelly reviewed Version 4 -
Read 100% of the Item
I think alot of military families would enjoy this. The only problem I saw was in the first page. Maybe you can make it 2 sentences for easier reading for little ones. “that I know. Can you ” other than that I think this was good.
astral206 reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
Yay troops! I am one, so I really liked this!
Showing 1 - 10 of 40
Next →
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Ratings & Rankings
