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Poetry / see us (Analysis)
see us
children of the earth
with blood in our third eye
destined to die
because we breathe creativity
out of what we see: spitting truth at
the beast of imperialism/the illuminati
that oligarchy
nemesis of creativity
controlling 95% of the earth’s resources,
stripping her bare, like a Muslimah
stripped of her Hijab by secularist,
while oppressed
by fundamentalists…
see us
children of the earth,
with blood in our third eye
destined to die
for exposin’ the lies
of the king with no clothes,
the one who committed a
pre-emptive strike against
defenseless Iraq,
& not only that
the “terrorists” who knocked down
the towers
claim “they hate us because we’re free”
please: this is part of the
“project for a new american century”
see us
children of the earth
with blood in our third eye
destined to die/from millenium
to millenium ‘cause we can see
& we still see the poisoning of our land,
Damn! blood for oil is what we’re worth!
blood for diamonds is what we’re worth!
& so forth $ so on!!!
see us, children of the earth, at war, & we won’t
relent,
until the beast is dust…
see us.
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Smileydimplz5764 reviewed Version 1 -
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realeyes69 reviewed Version 1 -
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HipStar reviewed Version 1 -
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Very powerful and captivating!
I’m not a political person at all…..but I absolutely loved this piece!
I was worried about clarity, but it was very easy to understand….because it’s truth.
Great job!
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streamwalker2001 reviewed Version 1 -
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“& so forth $ so on!!!” – one small error – & instead of $
blood for oil… so sad, but it seems so true…
nice job… the right amount of anger, sadness and perhaps even disbelief
you’ve made your message very clear
well done
PhotoWriter reviewed Version 1 -
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All I can say is that the author knows how to speak his mind. If Tupac were a new ager this would’ve made me think he was alive. Expand your focus.
imara219 reviewed Version 1 -
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I think this is the better political poem that I’ve read in a while b/c I can see the technique. Also you are trying to be stylistic, which I appreciate. I’m not going to argue about the material b/c that isn’t the point. I think the piece has a flow and rhythm. I think this could be a great performance piece because of how it rolls. I think you did a great job demonstrating how fed up you are.
Howard_Bushart reviewed Version 1 -
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Good title and good usage of “see us, children of the earth…” repetition. The use of “&” in the work is a real distraction in the written poem and weakens the overall and otherwise pleasing visual effect of the poem on the page. As does the line “& so forth S so on” which, as I read it, sounded like you abandoned the work at this point. Also the passage ”... & we won’t
relent…” totally steals the thunder from what should be a powerful conclusion because of the deviation from the form you’ve established in the larger body of the poem.
PawPrintsOfLife reviewed Version 1 -
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jaugne reviewed Version 1 -
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jwmurray reviewed Version 1 -
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