Poetry / see us (Analysis)

see us

children of the earth

with blood in our third eye

destined to die

because we breathe creativity

out of what we see: spitting truth at

the beast of imperialism/the illuminati

that oligarchy

nemesis of creativity

controlling 95% of the earth’s resources,

stripping her bare, like a Muslimah

stripped of her Hijab by secularist,

while oppressed

by fundamentalists…

see us

children of the earth,

with blood in our third eye

destined to die

for exposin’ the lies

of the king with no clothes,

the one who committed a

pre-emptive strike against

defenseless Iraq,

& not only that

the “terrorists” who knocked down

the towers

claim “they hate us because we’re free”

please: this is part of the

“project for a new american century”

see us

children of the earth

with blood in our third eye

destined to die/from millenium

to millenium ‘cause we can see

& we still see the poisoning of our land,

Damn! blood for oil is what we’re worth!

blood for diamonds is what we’re worth!

& so forth $ so on!!!

see us, children of the earth, at war, & we won’t

relent,

until the beast is dust…

see us.

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Smileydimplz5764 avatar General Stranger

June 15, 2008

Smileydimplz5764

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realeyes69 avatar General Stranger

June 05, 2008

realeyes69

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HipStar avatar General Friend

May 18, 2008

HipStar

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HipStar reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Very powerful and captivating!
I’m not a political person at all…..but I absolutely loved this piece!
I was worried about clarity, but it was very easy to understand….because it’s truth.
Great job!

streamwalker2001 avatar General Stranger

May 15, 2008

streamwalker2001

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streamwalker2001 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

“& so forth $ so on!!!” – one small error – & instead of $

blood for oil…  so sad, but it seems so true…

nice job…  the right amount of anger, sadness and perhaps even disbelief

you’ve made your message very clear

well done

PhotoWriter avatar General Stranger

May 13, 2008

PhotoWriter

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PhotoWriter reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

All I can say is that the author knows how to speak his mind.  If Tupac were a new ager this would’ve made me think he was alive.  Expand your focus.  

imara219 avatar General Stranger

May 13, 2008

imara219 Prolific-icon-medium

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imara219 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I think this is the better political poem that I’ve read in a while b/c I can see the technique. Also you are trying to be stylistic, which I appreciate. I’m not going to argue about the material b/c that isn’t the point. I think the piece has a flow and rhythm. I think this could be a great performance piece because of how it rolls.  I think you did a great job demonstrating how fed up you are.

Howard_Bushart avatar General Stranger

May 13, 2008

Howard_Bushart Prolific-icon-medium

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Howard_Bushart reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Good title and good usage of “see us, children of the earth…” repetition.  The use of “&” in the work is a real distraction in the written poem and weakens the overall and otherwise pleasing visual effect of the poem on the page.  As does the line “& so forth S so on” which, as I read it, sounded like you abandoned the work at this point.  Also the passage ”...   & we won’t
relent…” totally steals the thunder from what should be a powerful conclusion because of the deviation from the form you’ve established in the larger body of the poem.

PawPrintsOfLife avatar General Stranger

May 12, 2008

PawPrintsOfLife

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jaugne avatar General Stranger

May 12, 2008

jaugne

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jwmurray avatar General Stranger

May 12, 2008

jwmurray

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Omawale avatar

Omawale

Age: 45
Loc: Union City, NJ
Gen: M
Last Login: August 18
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