Poetry / architecture (Analysis)

you have a creative flair in your poem by mixing body parts with the ocean. Keep up the good work

Wow. There isn’t much I can say to that. It was entrancing. I had to reread it several times. It is powerful, and aside from punctuation, flawless.

-Gio

Maybe it’s just me but I’m lost… I think the only part I really liked was the “you look like the insides of my cheeks, chewed” part.  I thought that was kind of funny, the way it was phrased but I really have no idea what this poem was about.  And the title…yeah, I’m just lost.

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June 16, 2008

by jojack

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23	M	United States	October 04

cheeks that have been chewed are cut up and rough and raw.

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Love the way you have described the alternative side to love here for all is not totally cosey for some. Frustration levels in relationships cause these effects and even though the person be very much in love it is difficult for the other party to see past their actions.  A very effective poem with lesson for the majority within in my opinion.  Well expressed – bravo!

interesting use of words, combining them does bring some good imagery.
However, your long sentence is a little off-beat to the rest of your work, doesnt seem to fit.

I simply loved this.  Finally, somebody that understands how poetry is to be written and, obviously, read.  Give some lessons to the cats out there that haven’t a clue, please.

Thx.

sweet if uninspired. Thanks ~

Paul

I really enjoyed this poem. It was well written with the transition between buildings and an actual being. I hope to read more from you!

writen well alttle odd for a poem that is supposed about love.But I really liked the the last few line anout the oceanit has a very unique quilty

Wow, this is an extremely emotive piece!! However, I cant quite guage what’s going on as your language is overly abstract (which is a good thing when fishing for the feelings you’re trying to give the poem and evoke in the reader… But not so good from the stand-point of clarity).

This piece shows a great deal of tallent (even if I cant quite figure out, at first glance, what the hell’s going on =P)

The one true fault I found in the piece… a lower-case I in the second and second-last line (hmm, strange coincidence that..)

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May 15, 2008

by jojack

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	25.0% (16 votes)	100.0%

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23	M	United States	October 04

an argument about rape.

May 16, 2008

by Static

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194	87.0% (92 votes)	58.6%

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20	M	Australia	October 01

....so your language is even more abstract than I thought

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