Poetry / Truly I Remember (Analysis)

I really enjoy the subject matter and the images of a child arising out of bed and sipping from the faucet, but it reads more like a sentence broken up into lines. There is no rhythm to it, but that being said, it could easily be remedied. Again, I love the image, would just work on the flow.

Pete

i don’t even know why i like it… i just do. very nice and simple.

this is a sweet slice of life piece but it doesn’t seem like poetry to me, it’s very easy to visualize but i feel like it could be a little more creative instead of so real for it to be considered a poem.

I may not be the right person to judge but this is a sentance not a poem. Just a random thought or memory. Why were you thirsty, what was the night like?

Short is right. I’m not sure if there is enough to critique here. I read it again and almost felt it was comical that it ends right there. Really though, other than if this were a small snippet in an anthology book of a writer’s work, it’s not much worth reading.

Very short but not all poetry has to be long to get a point across. You can feel the saddness in the words. well done.

A very short and simple piece.Easily understood but I’m not too sure if you were trying to make a statement or write a poem.If you really want to be published you should try to tell a complete story or an emotion in your writings.Try spelling out numbers as you would in a book as well.The piece was very clear as to what you were saying but,it just seemed like something my child would tell me when he got caught being out of bed in the middle of the night.