Thank you so much, I really appreciate your input. I did chose the name exactly for the reason you mentioned tough. It is over used, but to me, therein lies the irony.
Poetry / Daddy Dearest (Analysis)
DADDY DEAREST
You are the One who appears at night,
You are the One who fears the light.
In Darkness only can you be
What you don’t want the world to see.
Your head is full of sick desires;
So unlike the man the world admires.
Your little daughter is only four;
Yet old enough to be your whore.
You keep your secret deep inside,
Your daughter is the one to hide –
The shame, the anger, guilt and sorrow,
Always fear the next tomorrow.
You are the One she’s supposed to trust.
But you took that away with every thrust.
You tell the world a bold-faced lie;
While your daughter dreams up ways to die.
You are the One who appears at night,
You are the One she’ll learn to fight.
She’ll shut the door, leave you behind.
You’ll be the demon on her mind.
She’ll see your face on every man –
She’ll take control whenever she can.
She will survive and learn to live –
For she has so much love to give.
Eventually she’ll be alright.
Finally able to sleep at night.
She’ll forgive herself for what you did,
And wonder why she ever hid.
She’ll learn to live without the fear,
No thanks to you, oh Daddy Dear.
Copyright c 2005 Andrea Ramey
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A very powerful and disturbing piece. I particularly liked the capitalisation of the words One and Daddy in the first third and last verse it added further weight to the piece. The rhythm of the piece flows well.
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So much poetry is free verse these days. It is refreshing to read a poem that rythmes. The counterpoint of an almost melodious sound—reminded me of a children’s song—with the horror of abuse is very creative. It definitely brings you into the plight of a poor child who feels powerless at the hands of someone who should be her protector and the one who cares for you.
This poem was disturbing and at the same time strong. The rhyming was effective and not sing-song; in fact, it is reminiscent of classic nursery rhyme, which is eerily powerful for this particular piece. The best lines, in my opinion, are “You are the one she is supposed to trust/But you took that away with every thrust.” This poem has the potential to speak to a lot of people – I could see this being used to open a group therapy session. Way to go!
Oh my goodness, bless your heart. This is so emotional I see every thing as a nightmare! Every waking moment this is a reality that exists and who do you turn to for comfort! If you tell, no one will believe you! There is such a fear that you pull into yourself and block out the rest of the world. I was four years old when my grandpa molested me. My daddy, cousins,an uncle, plus a boy from church…all molested me. I withdrew from people. It has taken me many years to overcome (I turned to Jesus at a very young age) and I can forgive but I can never forget! You have told my story as well as many others who cannot speak yet of this horrifying experience! Darlin, I wish I had the words to say what you’ve said and you did it beautifully considering all the ugliness of the situation. My brain would overload and explode if I tried to say what you have said. Yes I have said it now, but to put it all down as you did is very brave! I commend you for doing this and baby if its not too painful to write what you have lived, please keep on writing! May God Bless you and thank you for allowing me to review your poem. I send you all my love….Della
This is a very deep piece. Keep it up!
No advice to give on this poem, it’s perfect.
The “truth” deserves a ten. I think, however, that the world isn’t ready for the truth. I work with sexually abused kids. I see the mothers who cover up. I see the kids doing things I can’t write here, but I’m sure you know. I see the judges….about whom I won’t comment right now, beyond saying that some are good, some are beyond bad, and some take years to make the separation legal that should have been done the first day. This poem communicates all sorts of feelings. Most people aren’t ready to see them, so I doubt you can get this published unless you can find a website or support group for victims. Your ability to capture the feelings, however, is powerful.
Hi, it’s a horrible message that you’ve put in type, but to some it would be a ‘sad but true’ situation. I gave rated your poem all nines and a ten for your clarity.
I don’t see anything wrong with the poem itself except, I would change the name of the poem because it’s too over used. I would try to think up something that would get the reader’s attention and make them want to read it.
This poem really brings something to the paper, and I look forward to your future writings.
Best wishes to you,
Rhonda
This one hit so close to home for me. Brought tears to my eyes and many old hurtful memories back. but i too have learned to love and forget all the hate and shame he had brought me all those years. Overall, Great job, andrea.
Some people can be assholes.
The death penalty isn’t enough.
Great, moving poem.
The stanzas were spaced well and it flowed fantastically.
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