Poetry / Come Down

I think this poem has a very effective flow to it. “Fall asleep and slip into the surreal musings of a sympathetic mind” this line was the hooking point for me. At first I was just curious as to what this piece was about. After this line I was forced to ride it out. I think the end was flawless. I could completely understand  and appreciate this piece. Thank you for sharing it with me.

good work!

Good rythm, decent subject straight forward and to the point. I like the reference to music and reality and surreality. It is strange but interesting, keep this style for this type of subject but if you go for a different subject you may want to approach with a different appeal.

Good rhyme, and clear wording. Although, I’d make ignoring my mistakes singular.

You rhymed it wrong but the story carries you past that.
Terrifying, sad and beautiful.  
Ardriana

This poem was great. The sublte ryhme scheme was great. This poem was clear, and the reader can relate to it beyond what’s written down. I can’t find anything wrong with it. I loved it.

nice i liked it very much. your diction was good and your description was ok. i also liked your rhyme scheme. it made the poem flow really well. great job. :)

This is a twisted piece, I quite like it, because I can identify. The fact that I can is a comment on widespread drug-taking culture, because I’m from about as sheltered background as you can get. The imagery is exzciting, but technically it is a little bit clunky. I can’t offer suggestions as to how it could be better, so my criticism is rather empty, but it definitely was a compelling piece.

How many times has one fallen before one wakes? Shit!

It’s a pity that the person can’t break out of his recurring cycle, butthat is a tragic factor in this piece.

Well done.

This is really a beautiful piece..I really liked this line

“Chemically embraced, I step into the twisted scenes
Sedate in the constraints of my own recurring dreams”

Good stuff, sorry I don’t have anything to critique on.

cool and dark