Poetry / The First (Analysis)

This is strong.  It has good composition.  It has a good flow.  I was realy moved after I read it over with the thought that the loved one had died.  It’s not apparent in the poem, and I don’t know if you meant it that way.  I like how the Title caught me off guard a little.  If you open to suggestions, you could change
Because where are you
And where am I?
to
Because where are you
And (here) am I?   my reasoning for this is it ties into the promise.  I hope I was of some help.

I quite like this, although I don’t think it flows as well as it could.

There are some typos and such and it’s an awful long sentence but it’s got a variety of possibilities * my brain’s fuzzy ( I have a cold) so that probably isn’t spelled right *   The last sentence seems to be more comical,  which is in contradiction to the rest of the poem.  Where am I?  seems comical to me.   Maybe it should be about “the first tyme I caught you lying and where are you as I lay here dying?   That sounds more somber, somewhat morbid but I’m just that way sometymes.  Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.  

Beautiful. Fantastic meter and flow. Excellent substance.  I enjoyed it from start to finish.

A splendid poem. covered everything in a relationship, couldn’t find anything that needed improving.the ending summed it all up nicely – the first lie because where are you and where am I. I really enjoyed your work.

i think the poem is fine but one line doesn’t seem to fit
“the first arugement. Because you got to daring.” maybe if
you just said “the first arugement” or maybe you could phrase it better.

sweet story
I noticed a typo on “arguement”

I like it, I’m a sucker for good poetry, and I like your plain style, and all the emotions you conveyed. Good job!

Aside from a few spelling errors (“to” = “too”, “arguement” = “argument”), I think what makes me most uncomfortable with this piece is the repetition of “The” in almost every line. I can see, in a way, if you want to emphasize that these weren’t just any touches or kisses, but it reads as superfluous to me and tends to dull any kind of sensation I’m getting from the poem itself.

A little predictable, some typos/misspellings…but I like the end.

Everything is completely straightforward.  My taste in poetry is, however, a little bent.:)