Poetry / scaling II (Analysis)

Fabulous emotion and clarity.  I can totally feel where you are coming from when relating to my own life.  Great piece.

Maybe it’s because it’s late, but this piece was a little confusing for me. Usually if something doesn’t make sense, the context helps out, but the context in this poem just confused me more. Is it a stream of consciousness maybe, and not a thought? But that is mainly in the first stanza.
I do like how the lines are unlike the standard of English sentence structure, for example: “with roar miraculously” of preposition, noun, adverb and “population three” noun, adjective, which are not seen too often.
I did enjoy the lines: “just me/ often ugly/ often frightening/ often tough
but real/
and often /
/enough” Which was straight forward.
Just an observance I made, the last lines: ”...letters & sodas
fuck the runners
fuck the cowards
fuck the clowns”
remind me a lot of a Liz Phair song called, “f**k and run”.
This would be a great poem if you could expand or help explain your thought process of it.

The one is smooth, poetic, and honest.  I found it easier to understand than “Scaling I” but somewhat less deep.  I guess this one was direct enough that I couldn’t project my own meaning on to it.  I don’t think both piece are really necessary, because this really doesn’t work for me as a logical sequel to the first piece.  The reason I feel it doesn’t work as a sequel is all the repetition and rewording from the first piece, the central theme is the same but the resolution feels different.  You keep writing these and I’ll keep reading them, I’m really starting to like your style.

i dig this…it makes me think about me and my kids mother.  i don’t know if that was your intension but it works for me…could flow better though

the language is interesting. it reads nicely, but what’s it about???  the second half is not obviously linked to the first… is that deliberate?

I like this more than the first… More cohesive, and the emotion behind the piece is much clearer. Good use of repetition with the queries, and good use of common language. A sort of poetic self- portrait that comes across like bared teeth.

I connect with your raw anger and applaud your expression of it. It is works like these, keep going back, they produce amazing beauty. I like when I can connect, but also don’t want to read your diary – it has to have enough of you to have description, but not so much that it only belongs to you. So, I would take out the paragraph “just me”. We do get what your saying.

a little hard to follow, but i enjoyed the read. I do have to say the ending is my fav !

I enjoyed this poem better than the first.  You have good rhytm going here.  It is understandable and I was able to follow along with each section.  The Just me section is intense

Sorry. Still don’t get it. I could be me, but I find it hard to really get the message of the poem.