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Young Adult / Gifted, Chapter Seven (Analysis)
Chapter Seven
Every third Saturday was adoption day at the store, and the city shelter brought in dogs and cats in hopes that they wouldn’t have to take them back at the end of the day. Mr. Gibbons had put Charlotte on adoption duty right after she began working at Pet Palace. He said it was because she had a talent for finding homes for the animals, but the truth was that he refused to associate with the strays or anyone who would want them. He preferred to stay in his tiny windowless office and complain about the price of birdseed.
Francie worked for a vet and had been volunteering at the shelter for years. She didn’t have any children or grandchildren of her own, but she considered the animals her wards. “My four-legged children are enough for me,” she’d said. “I lost my sweetheart at 17, and I never wanted another one.”
Charlotte met Francie at the front door as she pulled up in her white van. “Hi, Francie. How many have we got?”
“Five kittens, two pups, and another puppy who needs your special touch. Come inside and I’ll give you a look at him.”
Francie and Charlotte pulled the carriers from the van and took them inside. Next to the grooming shop, a long narrow room had cages built into the back wall. They placed each animal in its own cage, but one carrier was left untouched. Francie put it at Charlotte’s feet and smiled proudly. “Open it up,” she said. “Phil and Joe brought this one in Thursday night. They found him next to the dumpster behind their house. The poor thing was just howling.” Francie had dubbed the boys the Stray Magnets; they were always bringing animals to the shelter, most of which they had rescued from the alley behind their frat house.
“How are the guys?”
“Oh, they’ve decided to name their band The Stray Magnets and promised to dedicate their first album to me for the name suggestion.”
Charlotte knelt down to the carrier and pulled the latch up. The door swung open, and she saw the pup wearing a scrap of a blue bandana around its neck. He stood there, all tail and tongue, and watched Charlotte. She could tell that he was a Husky mix, with perky ears and a frame of dark fur around his white face.
“The boys put that ridiculous thing on him and made me swear on my mother’s grave not to take it off,” Francie said. Then she amended, “well, not specifically my mother’s grave, but it sounded more convincing, right?” Her short red curls bounced around her face as she moved. “They named him Rocky, but said we could change it if the dog agreed.”
Charlotte reached out a hand and picked up Rocky.
“He’s got that spark in his eyes that reminded me of you.”
“Really?” Charlotte asked. The pup’s soft head fit snugly under her chin. This was the best part of her job.
“Too bad you can’t take him to your dorm. I think you two would get along really well.” She looked him over and nodded in approval. “There’s something special there, but it’s like he doesn’t know it yet. He’s got a certain spark, don’t you think?”
Charlotte hoisted him into one of the cages. “Well Rocky, we’re going to find out.”
As the afternoon passed all of the animals were adopted, except for Rocky. Charlotte had been very particular about prospective owners for the little pup. One couple seemed too cold, and she suggested they try getting a fish instead. Francie gawked at her.
“You’re pickier than usual today. Something on your mind?”
“They just weren’t right for him. Did you see that last guy? I wouldn’t trust him with a sock, much less a puppy.” Charlotte held the pup, and he ran his raspy tongue over her fingers. “We’ll find the right people.”
Francie knew she was right. Charlotte had a knack for finding the right people, and she wouldn’t let him go until they came in.
She carried Rocky to the front of the store, rubbing the spot behind his ear that made him relax against her. She had already spotted a couple of the rowdier ones and knew that if they got to Rocky she’d spend the rest of the day tring to calm him down. She weaved through a couple of aisles to avoid them. An older woman entered with a cat. Charlotte didn’t see as many cats in the store; they were smart enough to let people know they’d rather stay home and cause mischief or take a nap. The woman walked with her cat to the pet food aisles, where they seemed to have a conversation about the benefits of various brands of cat food..
Charlotte walked past the birds; the cockatoos sat on their perches nibbling on seeds while the lovebirds screeched and scurried around their cages. There was no trace of the storms the weathermen had promised. If anything, the day was even sunnier to make up for the false predictions. The animals knew it was a good day, and Charlotte was jealous.
Cole slouched at her register with a permanent marker. Today’s tattoo was a green rhinocerous on the underside of her forearm. It didn’t look as menacing as the bulldog had.”Calloway, take my register for a while. I’m bored.”
“Can’t, Cole, I’m on adoptions.” She pointed to Rocky as proof. “See? This is a dog, and he needs a place to live. People come to the store, and take him home, and that’s how it works.”
“Fine, I’ll get Charlie up here. He owes me one.”
Charlotte walked away as she heard the announcement over the PA system. Charlie? Get up here, pronto. I gotta get out of here…Don’t forget, man, you owe me a favor!
Charlotte thought there were few things that could surprise her anymore. She had seen shoes for schauzers that cost more than her car. One woman regularly brought in her pet wearing a little doggie tuxedo! She couldn’t let Rocky be adopted by anyone who would put a dog in a tux. Unless it was for a wedding, it was jus too humiliating.
She looked at the pup, who had finally fallen asleep against her. His furry chest rose and fell as he slept. She looked out the front doors, hoping someone would come for him. But instead of seeing a family for Rocky, she saw a bright pink hearse.
She thought her imagination was running wild from the boredom. What else would cause her to see a pink hearse in the parking lot of the Pet Palace? It was something from the fifties with shiny chrome detail. She wondered who would drive something like that. Painting a hearse pink seemed so…tacky. If spoiled teenagers drove sleek sports cars and grandparents drove sedans the size of aircraft carriers, who would drive a pink hearse? Charlotte surmised it was some kind of eccentric. Probably had a Southern accent thicker than most people’s around here and one of those teeny, tiny dogs that she could carry in her purse and call Mrs. Wigglesworth.
Great fins emerged from the back of the car like silvered wings. It was obvious that the owner had taken very good care of it—the car was in pristine condition like a new toy right out of the box. Besides the fact that the vehicle’s original purpose made Charlotte squirm, she liked the look of it.
As Charlotte stared at the car, two children, a girl and a boy, walked through the doors of the store. Each one had a swath of auburn hair and wide, explorative eyes. The boy hesitated at the door a few seconds longer than his sister, who spotted Charlotte and Rocky a few feet away. She walked closer. Her arms were at her side, but her fingers were twitching. Rocky had stirred by now, and he perked up his ears at the girl.
Charlotte held him out a little so she could reach him. “Want to pet him?”
The girl didn’t reach out, but her face showed her concern. Her brother was by her side now, and didn’t share his sister’s hesitation.
“I do!” he spoke up.
“No!” His sister stayed his hand. Charlotte was surprised by her reaction. She thought this could be the family that Rocky needed, but not if the girl was opposed to touching him. “I just mean, he doesn’t know us. What if he bites you?”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that,” Charlotte reassured her. “Rocky won’t bite you unless you’re a mean cat or an old sock. And you two don’t look like socks or cats to me.”
The girl held onto one long braid with her left hand, but released the grip on her brother’s arm with the other. He reached out and stroked the pup’s head. Rocky waited patiently as if he knew his part, and when he didn’t bite anyone, the girl ran one apprehensive hand along his coat. Charlotte knelt down to their level and set the puppy on the floor. Surrounded by the three of them, Rocky tilted his head up and stuck out his pink tongue.
“Do you have a backyard where he can run around and play?” They nodded. “He likes when you scratch behind his ears.”
Both of them scratched the pup as Charlotte told them, and Rocky closed his eyes and let them scratch as long as they could. Charlotte knew the ear-scratching always closed the deal.
“I guess we’ll be taking this one home,” their father told Charlotte.
Charlotte was ecstatic. It was the first time she’d felt successful in a while. “If you’ll wait here for a minute, I’ll get his paperwork from the back.”
Francie was collecting her carriers as Charlotte passed. “Rocky’s got a home. The Evans kids loved him, so I’m going to get the paperwork for Mr. Evans to fill out.”
“Great!” Francie said. “I’ll tell the boys to start looking for more strays. You’ve got some kind of magic touch, you know that?”
“Nothing to win a Nobel Prize over, but I won’t complain.” Charlotte glanced at the clock. “Why don’t you go home? I can drop the papers at the shelter tomorrow afternoon.”
Francie sighed as she picked up the last empty carrier. “That would be great, Charlotte. I’ll see you next week.”
Charlotte went back to the break room. The paperwork was in Gibbon’s office, and the only way to get there was through the narrow hallway from the breakroom. She opened the heavy metal door and was hit with a blast of smoky air. Cole sat on the couch, a ragged magazine resting untouched on her lap, and a cigarette between her fingers creating the smoky atmosphere. Charlotte wrinkled her nose and held in the last bit of smoke-free air. She hated the taste of smoke and the way it stung her eyes.
She rolled her eyes and attempted a little human contact. “There’s no smoking in here, Cole. Why can’t you go out to the loading dock?” She could have appealed for her health, but that was a long shot.
Cole watched the trail of smoke leave the lit tip and then pressed it firmly into the ash tray balanced on the arm of the sofa. “I promised Charlie I would stay close in case he had a problem. I still haven’t decided if I will answer if he pages me, but that’s the risk he took.” She crossed the room to the vending machine and retrieved a soda. “What about you? Hiding from the customers?”
“I need another adoption form. Rocky’s been adopted.”
“Ah, another mutt finds a home. Congratulations.” Cole pulled a blue marker from her apron pocket. There was a faint outline of the rhinocerous, which had since been scrubbed away. Cole drew jagged lightning bolts over the veins in her opaque skin.
“If you didn’t think of them as mutts, you’d be able to do it, too.”
Cole didn’t look up from her sketch. “You know, Calloway, you may be right, but I don’t think I’m the kind of person who likes animals.”
The conversation fizzled out, and Charlotte cut through the smoky break room to Mr. Gibbons’ tiny office where he kept all the store’s paperwork in plastic milk crates.
She knelt down next to the short stack of crates, balancing on the balls of her feet. None of the files were organized at all; there were order forms mixed in with employee files, invoices and trash. She shuffled over to another stack of crates half-full of yellowed newspapers. She finally found a few adoption forms. No telling how long they had been there.
A quick jolt of pain shot from behind the eyes. The unexpected sensation knocked her off balance. She bumped the corner of one crate, knocking it off the stack and spilling its contents across the concrete floor. She landed hard on one elbow and her tailbone as her feet shot out from underneath her.
And then it was gone, like a light switch had been turned on and then off. The pain wasn’t there, but an echo of it remained, throbbing in time with her rapid heartbeat. She blinked several times and the echo faded.
That was weird, she thought. Must have been all the smoke. But smoke had never made her head hurt so much so quickly.
She gathered up the scattered papers and stood, blinking again. The pain stabbed her once more, sharper than the first time. She closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. There was no warning for the pain, and she’d never felt anything like it. It was sandpaper on her eyes, a piercing pain against soft tissue.
Charlotte pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth. The trick could make the pain subside when she ate ice cream too quickly, but no brain freeze could compare to the shooting pains she felt. The few seconds she stood in the office felt infinitely longer.
The pain finally dissipated, but not before she wished for a small hammer to crack her skull. She covered one side of her head with her hand as if that might keep more pain away. Cole looked up from her wrist, now covered in an army of lightning bolts, and saw Charlotte wince.
“Something wrong, Calloway?” There was no concern in her voice, but Charlotte didn’t care. She made a lot of noise when she fell, and Cole didn’t budge from her spot on the couch.
“My head started to hurt suddenly.” More than when I took that stray softball to the head in the championships.
“Could be all those whining puppies you’ve been touching today. I know they make my head hurt.”
Charlotte rubbed her elbow. The floor had not been kind upon their meeting. “It’s probably just allergies. See you later.” Her eyes began to water, and she tried to brush away the moisture.
Charlotte apologized to Mr. Evans about making them wait, but the kids had distracted themselves by picking out presents for Rocky. She pointed out a rubber newspaper that he had shown interest in, and the kids added it to their basket.
Charlie looked miserable at the register, and Charlotte felt sorry for him. She wouldn’t have guessed that the towering twenty-two-year-old would have taken orders from someone half his size, but he had obviously dropped everything when Cole called him. Meanwhile, she was sitting in the breakroom while he had to do her work.
“Hey, I’ll take over, Charlie.” Charlotte shooed him away from the counter, but he didn’t need to be forced. Waving good-bye to the Evans family, she remembered the hearse, and cranned her neck to see if it was still there. It was, but she still hadn’t seen Ms. Pink Hearse.
The woman with the cat that she had seen earlier was next in line. She place a few cans of cat food on the counter. Charlotte was surprised that she was still here, but she put on her best customer-service smile. “Did you find everything you were looking for today, ma’am?”
The woman’s gray eyes sparkled. “Yes, thank you.” That voice sounded familiar to Charlotte, as familiar as her mother’s or Megan’s. Maybe she had been in the store before. Or maybe Charlotte was just exhausted.
She shook off the feeling. She was already tired from the strange headaches, and she didn’t need any other distractions. “Have a good day.”
Charlotte tried to suppress a yawn as Randall appeared at her register. “Long day, huh?” he asked.
She nodded. A burst of sunlight reflected off the cars outside, and she stuck one hand up as a shield. Then she realized that it was reflecting off the hearse, and that someone had opened the door. It was that woman with the gray cat. Wow. I wouldn’t have expected her to drive that thing.
“Randall, did you see that hearse in the parking lot?”
Randall raised one eyebrow. “Hearse? What are you talking about?”
“The lady who was just in here with that charcoal-colored cat. She was driving a bright pink hearse, a really old one. You didn’t see it?” He shook his head. Charlotte sighed. Could everyone else be so oblivious? She tried again. “Pink hearse. Bought cat food. Talked to her cat like he was a person. She was here for at least an hour.”
Randall shrugged. “I saw Mrs. Snyder buying food for Phoenix a little while ago.”
“Mrs. Snyder’s only 40, if that. This lady was older and had short gray hair. She was probably pushing 60 or 65.”
“There was a customer like that, but she wasn’t driving a hearse. It was a blue Honda, I think. Old rusty thing.”
Charlotte was frustrated. She did not invent people and she did not invent hearses. “Nevermind. I’ve never seen her before, and I am sure I would have remembered that car.”
“Maybe she just uses it on special occassions,” Randall offered. “My brother has an old VW camper van that he painted bright yellow. He only drives it three days a week.”
“Running pet errands hardly qualifies as a special occasion.”
“Then maybe she’s new to town, or maybe you made her up.”
“Or maybe-“
The pain hit her again. She cried out and closed her eyes. Randall reached out as she stumbled and grasped her elbow. “Again?” he asked softly. Charlotte only nodded, her eyes closed tightly. Red, yellow, and black spots rolled on her eyelids like slow-moving traffic in the rain. The spots were new; she hadn’t seen any them when she’d been in the break room. “Come with me.” She followed willingly, opening her eyes just enough to see the blurry outline of things around her.
She heard the heavy, grating groan of the door as he opened it and guided her through.
The break room was empty. Randall lead her to the couch. The old springs creaked when she stretched out across the cushions. Her feet hung over the edge. The stench of cigarettes and sweat was thick in her nostrils and made her nauseated.
“The couch reeks,” Charlotte mumbled. “Cole must’ve smoked half a pack earlier.” The full ashtray was sitting beside the couch.
Randall dumped the remains into the trash. He found two pills and a cool, damp cloth for her forehead. “Just stay here and rest. Gibbons is already gone so he won’t bother you. I’ll be back later to check on you.” He flicked the light switch and left her.
The harsh fluorescent lights went out and the room was dark except for a single utility light in the hallway connecting the break room to Gibbon’s office and the storage room. It was a tolerable amount of brightness. She took the medicine even though she didn’t think it would help. This wasn’t a headache kind of pain.
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sjvance reviewed Version 1 -
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Very good. I haven’t read the rest of your chapters and didn’t intend to, but now I will. Very well written, though you didn’t describe “Rocky.” The story flowed well and kept my attention. Very good. :)
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nubadunk reviewed Version 1 -
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I would like to read the other chapters to get the full scoop! I like it. could get published
neophytepoetess reviewed Version 1 -
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Your writing is really good. I enjoyed this read immensely. There was a tiny thing or two I noticed in the begining of the chapter, but soon forgot as I got into the story, which I found well-written, easy to read and interesting. I can’t wait to read more.
ksr_kingworth reviewed Version 1 -
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I’m new to this review, and new here in general, so I hope my comments will be meaningful.
Your first person point of view is done really nicely and the way you moved from Charlotte’s thoughts to the events and dialogue is really well done.
I can’t think of anything that needs to happen as far as story or grammar goes. This is obviously a well-polished piece. I did feel like I lost interest early on, but when you picked up the pink hearse part of it and connected the earlier introduction of it to Charlotte noticing the door opening at the end when no one else even remembered seeing it, or remembered seeing the lady with the gray cat, at that point I was very intrigued.
Taemaeri reviewed Version 1 -
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This was an interesting chapter. Watch your spelling. I noticed that “just” is spelled “jus” on page four. The section about the Evans children is a little confusing because the character spoke like she knew them “The Evans kids”, but there was no mention of the name Evans on the page before. Maybe a little note about her knowing them or some dialogue where the father introduces himself would help that. Otherwise I think this is a good strong chapter.
Ashentara reviewed Version 1 -
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Wow, I haven’t read the rest of the story – YET. Big yet :)
i love the way you write, and even without knowing what happened before, I jumped into the story straight, and I can’t wait to read more!!
WishingGirl333 reviewed Version 1 -
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Hey I am a new reviewer for this peice, and I am definatly incouraged to go read the rest of it. I like your writing style it truly creats a strong picture of the charecters in my mind. You dont find to many storys about animals now and days and this is a really cool view. It is different in the fact that it has both the happy,”getting adopted sides” and the other sad side as well. Charlotte seems like a really deeply filled in charecter, but some people feel almost skipped out on. Are you trying to creat a love intrest? Overall really good job!
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