Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Feline Induced Self-Actualization (Analysis)

Have you ever woken up with your heart beating so violently that is shakes your whole body? It pulsed in my ears and caused my hands to twitch, my eyes were shot open immediately, and I quickly became glad that I was careless enough to neglect my duty of turning off my bedroom light before adventuring off into dreamland . My mother’s voice echoed in my head as though I had just heard her violent cry from the opposite room, she, screaming my name very quickly and very forcefully…surely it wasn’t real, but my ears hummed with the scream, and it haunted me for the short while that I lie in bed motionless listening for something more. Nothing. My mind worked quickly in its deviations, a deviated thought of an intruder in my home taking the life my mother and perhaps what I heard was her last cry for help, her last plea for help, if you will. My heart still beating violently as though it attempted to break free of my chest, I rolled over to get up, immediately my thoughts of violence were put to rest; My cat lay beside me curled up In a ball looking as though she had not a care in the world. Her mere appearance rebuked any chance of violent behavior occurring the opposite room that I had so improperly conceived. I learned to trust my cat’s senses more than my own. Had there been a real noise (being the nosy bitch that she was) her ears would have perked up, and she would run immediately to investigate the unfamiliar sound. I envied her as she writhed in her small ball of seemingly endless comfort, she only opened her eyes a crack to bestow a flippant nonchalance glance before closing them again so that she may continue inciting envy within me. My cat had no responsibilities, no obligations. how listless she seemed, how entirely natural she seemed bearing no prior obligations other than to sleep wherever she might be in the way of people who (opposingly) had obligations. All this extroverted thinking ended far more ceremoniously than it had begun as she violently stuck her foot up by her face and began cleaning it as though she had just realized she had forgotten to do it earlier. My cat’s only obligation was to be an obligation to me, and it is my obligation to take care of her. Without obligations one might seem irresponsible, only finding duties to please one’s self (like perhaps cleaning their foot?). Still, I watched her as she replaced her foot to it’s prior position and immediately reestablishing her look of great contentment. I became aware of my own obligations and my apathy towards them; I find them not only to be something I had no choice to do but something I did not enjoy (and that are not to be enjoyed). But without them I might seem as much as a hippy as my cat who finds an occupation in sleeping in the way, and investigating unfamiliar noises. My obligations are there for a reason, to shape and induce the responsibilities of adulthood, and are there for nothing but advantageous reasons. Rather deplorable that it took my hippy of a cat to realize this, eh? Makes me wish I had a dog…

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