Children's / My Special Hero (Analysis)

Dedicated  to  my  son  Seth  who  inspired  this  story,  and  to   my  husband  Russell  Wickham  who  is  an  American  soldier  and  our  son’s special  hero.

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My  special  hero  is  someone  that  I  know  can  you  guess  what  his  job  is?

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He  wears  a  uniform,  but  he  is  not  a  police man.

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He  rides  in  a  truck,  but  he  is  not  a  fireman.

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He  saves  lives,  but  he  is  not  a  doctor.

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He  gives  hope  to  many,  but  he  is  not  an  athlete.

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My  special  hero  is  my  daddy.

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He  is  an  American  soldier.

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Sometimes  he goes  far  away  for  a  long  time,  but  I  know  that  he  will  come  home  to  me  and  that  he  still  loves  me  very  much.

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The  end!

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Reviews

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Rowling avatar General Stranger

October 30, 2008

Rowling

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Rowling reviewed Version 5 - Read 100% of the Item
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GVaughn avatar General Stranger

July 24, 2008

GVaughn

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GVaughn reviewed Version 5 - Read 100% of the Item
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batwriter79 avatar Random Review

July 07, 2008

batwriter79

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batwriter79 reviewed Version 5 - Read 100% of the Item

Reading it I thought it was to short, but it’s perfect for children and for the American soliders to read together.  

HermiG avatar General Stranger

July 06, 2008

HermiG

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HermiG reviewed Version 5 - Read 100% of the Item

I think this is very important, both to cheer up the children and parents. I really like how you’ve compared soldiers to other important jobs.

“Sometimes  he goes  far  away  for  a  long  time,  but  I  know  that  he  will  come  home  to  me.”

I would probably have changed this to:
“Sometimes I don’t see him for a very long time, but I know that he will come home to me”

Since it both seems more personal and more from a boy’s perspective. I don’t think a boy would care where his father was as long as he wouldn’t be able to be able to see him.

karrina avatar General Stranger

June 26, 2008

karrina

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karrina reviewed Version 5 - Read 100% of the Item

as the daughter and sister of american soldiers i can so relate to this. i love this. have you thought about putting pictures with each page? i think that would work very well in this instance. nice work.

sjvance avatar General Stranger

June 13, 2008

sjvance

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sjvance reviewed Version 5 - Read 100% of the Item

Good writing, the story flows well and will make children think along the way, trying to figure out what the “special hero” does and who it is.

Kye avatar General Stranger

June 11, 2008

Kye

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Kye reviewed Version 5 - Read 100% of the Item

Okay. I feel the best way to review this piece is to go over the criteria you have asked for rankings on and explain why I said what I said.

There were 13 criteria given.

1-4 asked about a publisher/agent/agent advice. I ranked these low because I’m not a publisher or agent and I can not give you the same feedback one of those may give you. I can only give my opinion as reader of your piece.

5-8 asked about publishability. I ranked them low because I do not have enough information about your writings to make a judgement. (ex: you asked if this could be published in a book of your writings. I have not read anything else by you so I do not know.) I also believe there is some work to do before this piece would be ready for publication. Mainly, I wanted you to have a bit more about what it means to be a soldier. What they do, because a child may not know. Do the men and women justice and let the children see what they do.

9. Talent over all 7
10 Children over all 7
11 Be admired for 5
12 Clarity 5
13 Amuse/Entertain/Warm Hearts 6

I feel that your scores would be higher, once you give us a bit more.

It is a grand idea. I do not see many children’s books praising soldiers. Flesh it out a bit and give the service people their due. Best of luck.

J_Lynn avatar General Stranger

June 08, 2008

J_Lynn

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J_Lynn reviewed Version 5 - Read 100% of the Item
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chelly avatar General Stranger

June 01, 2008

chelly

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chelly reviewed Version 4 - Read 100% of the Item

I think alot of military families would enjoy this. The only problem I saw was in the first page. Maybe you can make it 2 sentences for easier reading for little ones. “that  I  know. Can  you ” other than that I think this was good.

astral206 avatar General Stranger

May 26, 2008

astral206

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astral206 reviewed Version 2 - Read 100% of the Item

Yay troops! I am one, so I really liked this!

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dreamwritter avatar

dreamwritter

Age: 23
Loc: Tracy City, TN
Gen: F
Last Login: September 09
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