Poetry / Kissing the Past (Analysis)

I really enjoyed parts of this poem and think you would do well to reconsider utilizing the end rhyme. I think it tries too hard and can, at times, distract from the emotion. I loved the last stanza!

who hasn’t felt this way? i think you have done a good job expressing the feeling of loneliness and desperation.
you mention “feeding the impulse” and “flames”—maybe you could expand on that imagery? i like its hurriedness, the way you seem out of your own control. like you know it hurts you but you can’t help it.
i recommend that you focus more on the beauty of the poem itself and less on trying to rhyme. for example, the line “small little cries” only scratches the surface of what could be a really interesting metaphor or image. (it’s also kind of redundant—“small” and “little” are the same thing.)

please keep writing, and if you’d like me to take a look at a second draft of this when you write one, i would be glad to!

Good rhythm. I like.

I LOVE IT, VERY TEEN ANGSTY (IF THAT’S A WORD). VERY ORIGINAL DESCRIPTIONS. PUT THAT KNIFE AWAY AND KEEP THE PEN IN YOUR HAND.

A little too rhymed for my taste typically, but definitely good imagery.  Good timing and rhythm to the entire piece.  You can easily visualize where the writer is coming from and adapt that to your own situations.

A poem that’s not easy to interpret. But the little I understand, gives me the feel of a surreal poem, particulrly the first stanza.
Some of the images like, “running away from the sun” are impressive.

This is very good, albeit a slight bit confusing in the beginning. I had to read the poem a few times to get the whole meaning.

I like the way you use the subjects angst in more than a typical teenaged way. I get the visual of a girl, with bloody wrists, staring in a mirror, trying to figure out who she is. I really felt for the subject.