That was the mindset I had in writing this. How petty we are at rooting into politicians’ histories and scrutinizing their pasts, though this is magnified somewhat.
Flash Fiction / Hail to the Chief (Analysis)
And now I’m wasted. Or maybe everyone else is drunk. I mean, I only had one drink… no, not six. Either way, they’re the ones at fault. This is my home, my heaven, my asphalt utopia, and I’ll publicly abuse whatever substances I wish. All they can do is call the cops. My cameo on the news can be the germination of my campaign for President. Everyone will know my name, and everyone will be able to relate to me, the great American hero. The first to step outside while swimming in his own glory, courtesy of Msr. Daniels and Quervo. A pioneer, a fallen angel, a trailblazer abused by his own greatness. How sweet is the wine of my celebrity!
Here we are, four years later, and my heroism comes back with open arms, yanking me down from my silver pedestal. Oh well, maybe this is just the Democrats’ year.
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Buck reviewed Version 1 -
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This was fun. I think you could end it with a twist and have the person commenting later on after they are hung over or just sober to see if their perspective changes. Maybe add some descriptions of the feeling of being wasted. The internal dialogue is great though.
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Gavinswar reviewed Version 1 -
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I am not into political agendas but it seems a bit much in any case. Everyone hides things, and we then point fingers at those that are exposed, although we are usually guilty of similar or worse in some cases.
Gavinswar
squarehopper reviewed Version 1 -
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Your character is WHO? I don’t know him or her. The way this is written it feels like a young person (underage). I realize you are young (or so says your age), but that is no excuse for making your character sound young. Where is the maturity and responsibility and level-headiness that one expects from a presidential candidate? It is not present here. It sounds like the rambling of a drunk teen.
For example your first four lines just show the irresponsibility and the lack of clear thinking that a person of 35 would show even drunk (You can’t run for prez before that age).
You then follow it up with a justification for irresponsibility.
This needs to be reworked.
Sorry it simply fails.
the_antagonist reviewed Version 1 -
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I like it, though I’d say it’s not really a story so much as a poem written in paragraph form. You’re definitely still in the poetic mindset. But it is good nonetheless. I like how you ended it.
plotjuggler reviewed Version 1 -
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Wherever this belongs makes me no difference. It fits the genre of my mind just perfect. My writer’s default . . . finds no faults.
Harvest reviewed Version 1 -
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Hey. Interesting Ideas. However, this is NOT fiction. What you need to focus on, is in CONCRETE IMAGES and not in vague ideas. Flash fiction is a scene that supports in itself a larger story that underlies a scene that is vivid, palpable, concrete. Try making your character do things, interact with others, with CONFLICT. Try some dialogue between people. Make the exposition as brief as possible, and everthing important that you have to say, say it on a scene. imply it by what the caracters DO and NOT WHAT YOU OR THE NARRATOR HAS TO SAY.
If you want to focus on yourself and not your characters, write a poem or an essay.
Also, double check every name brand. This is important so that the reader knows he/she is reading material from an authority. For example, (I don’t know if you mean Mrs.) but it would be Mr. Daniel’s (as Jack Daniel’s) and Cuervo (as Jose Cuervo).
You’ve got some talent, I can tel you that. Being only fourteen, you’ve got a way with words. Don’t give it up! keep on doing your work and you’ll shine! really!
E
zoomstunna reviewed Version 1 -
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Interesting themes explored. Flash fiction should leave reader with some powerful image. I don’t really get that from this. I don’t know who’s talking, what age that person is, where this is. It needs to leave me with some image in my mind.
Yoko_cw reviewed Version 1 -
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I like it. You had good visuals and wording. Is there more to this?
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