Poetry / Massage Therapy

Oddly enough, without the last line, I don’t know if I would have liked it as much.  But, alas, there it was!  It’s a fun, light poem.  Good for you!

You know what a back rub leads to right? Try to use more descriptive words or words that explore more of the senses. I felt as though the poem was just you saying hey these are the steps for a back rub, instead next time say that but explore the way it makes you feel the way it makes her feel and not just physically or sexually, but the explore the senses, the way your heart sings by being so close to her, heart pounding, romantic, passionate beautiful. the body is beautiful and wonderous and a massage is you kneading and working knots and tension from that beauty. but keep at it bub

Greetings

Line -9 seems to be dialogue, perhaps you should offset it( give it a stanza of its own) and or italicise it to indicate this. 4th line from end – is mine supposed to be my – if not you might try stanza break after to seperate two seperate thoughts. Nice poem. Keep writing.

NO too much imagery to work with.  I think you certainly can paint more of a picture, perhaps a little detail about the hands or the skin.  I loved the last line that you left the reader with.

A nice short poem.  I’m a bit confused over the choice of line breaks, but as for content, it was good.  I got sort of “I’m home again” feel as I read it.