Poetry / Poetry (Analysis)

couple of things …

“doesn’t have feelings to” – this is the wrong to for the meaning, it should be too

“condemn itto copy” – should there be a space between it and to?

other than those, i actually liked this.  even though you say you wrote it about classics being slaughtered…i can see it pertaining to just about all of us that write poetry.  in reading others work, we all have a slightly different take on what the author means.  but with the last line it seems that you are also telling us writers to either be prepared for possible critism or keep our poems in our head.

good job!

” ...builds these things from lint and dust… ” You don’t know how many times I’ve dug around in my pockets looking for some small piece of inspiration so I could get over the hump of writer’s block (or brain rejection, as I see it). This little bite made me smile both inside and out!

“Your scared of it…” this is the wrong “you’re” – a simple mistake.

”...condemn it[ ]to copy…” Add a space here.

Only two of your lines are capitalized. Is there a reason for this, or was it a small over site?

Small mechanical tweaks aside, this a very provoking piece. It says a lot about the author. I think I could see this published, once you smoothed out the rough spots. I’d really like to see more.

First off, writing about poetry is actually kind of overdone. With that being said, I think you did this much better than most do. You took the concept and made it a little more unique. The style was actually quite nice and some of the images and points you made were interesting. It actually did flow nicely as well. I like that you didn’t rely heavily on meter or rhyme, I question the use of the rhyming in this line, though:

Your (...) than you (...) doesn’t mean it doesn’t have feelings to.

First the “to” you would want to use would be “too.” But even that comes across as kind of typical and forced. It doesn’t really reinforce the messages you’ve presented. All in all, I think this is some nice work and you have a talent. There’s nothing majorly wrong here. With a little editing you will be able to make this somewhat typical concept quite interesting.

Very interesting piece of work. I don’t have much to say.

I feel the same way about poetry in general and the point you were trying to portray here was carried across nicely. To be honest though, I have never seen a poem structured quite like this. It is partially free-verse and has a partial ryhme scheme. This is not a bad thing though, I rather enjoy a unique piece such as this. Good write.

I prefer the challenge of prose because I don’t have the necessary discipline to write good poetry. For that reason I admire those who can make words dance so well on such a small stage.
What I like about this piece is the rebellious nature of the poet who is having to write prescriptively instead of being able to write freely.
The lines of uncertain length and rhyme that is there but not perfect gives me the impression of a poet wriggling to break free of the clutches of writing ‘advertising copy’.