Poetry / Getting past the past

nice work here, it tells the story of many teens now days but they usaually dont make it out of it.I wrote a poem sorta like this but much darker. its called broken mirror if you would like to read it.

wayne

Enjoyable. Nice job rhyming so I’ll respect that’s how you want it.  I think some of the fat can be cut away to clean it up.  I’ll give a couple examples of what I mean and then you can do the rest if you agree (listen to yourself).  A few too many I’s and my’s, i.e.:
L1 delete 2nd ‘my’.
L2 ‘Those that remain are ones…’.
L4 Delete ‘can’
L5/6 more difficult:  Delete ‘The’.  ’Karma’s… paid’ then maybe ‘old wreckage sorted at last’.  L6 ‘And have stared through demons that have haunted my past’.
L7 love it!

I don’t like to take liberty of rearranging other people’s work but hope you understand what I mean about trimming.  This way it flows nicely, you still have the same meaning in each line, and it’s still somewhat conversational.  To make it even clearer, I would arrange the piece into 4-line stanzas, especially since the rhyming works so well in this form (sometimes I can be a structure freak, not always though).  

Look through the rest and see what you’d have to do if you removed some of those I’s.  Hope I helped ☺.

PS  You have way too many rating criteria and many are similar.  It’s hard to rate something until it is really polished.

first there are too many criteria here to comment on, in the future try to pick just the necessary ones.

typo’s and misspellings
line 1, forst-first
line 7, a comma between was, is
line 10, I would remove type of, it’s unnecessary and hurts the flow of the line

Now for the review… The rhyme is too predictable for my taste in poetry, but it may have more life as song lyrics.  I can see the feeling you are expressing here, having a clear mind and a compass.  Take some time to remove any unnecessary words and I also thought you should go back over lines 11, 12.  They seemed to be the weakest in the piece.