Poetry / words... (Analysis)

This was clearly a mind-clearing exercise (I think).  I definitely know the feelings that you are describing.  The feeling of trying to hide behind your writing, hoping that someone will realize what you’re feeling by reading them.  There are some good lines in there, especially the ending, but it’s still a little messy.  You are obviously a writer so keep it up!

Well, it’s a good start.  The piece has some urgency to it and is interesting, except that it’s a bit melodramtic – drama for its own sake.  There is no texture for the drama to stand upon. Try fitting in some tangible elements.  Show us why we should care with specifics.

Even though I have been in this same situation and do exactly what this is, which is write, I find that sometimes its says something that you need to hear but not others.  Ok, that came out in the worst way.  To me, this says that you are asking for help.  Not in poetry, but for emotional problems.  I think I would go back, re-read it, re-write it and then resubmit it.  

Beautiful… My only critique is you didn’t seem to capitalize correctly. Aside fromt hat, it felt as is I could relate. It really portrays what all people are in life…We are all hiding behind our own masks of lives. very good in my opinion though!

First off i should be captapilized. I like how you repeated your self when you said all i do is write and write and then the sighed and sighed. It took me a little bit to understand your poem. But once I understood it I liked it. And I read it a couple times.

we can all relate to moments like this.. excellent job

A lot of great poets in time have been very depressed people.  It seems like you are going through a period that all people go through around your age, I have to say it took me back.

Your notes mention that this was written in a confused moment, it certainly did confuse me, im not completely sure what your trying to get across as the poem is a mix of emotion, and expression. I was 15 a year ago, and i think you just need a little more experience in writing, look at a other peoems, and write some more. You said you wrote it in a moment of confusion, the poem seems to have been written on the spur of the moment, this isnt always negative but maybe you should look back at it and think twice, as it did confuse a little, however i realy liked the emotion behind it that you wanted to set free onto the page, keep writing and keep expressing yourself, well done =)