Poetry / Lost And Confussed (Analysis)

Well it rhymes, and it gets the point across. I know the feeling so I can relate.

Confussed should be confused

suppous should be supposed

compotion should probably be compassion

and you should capitalize any kind of sentence starting with quotes “Oh her name doesn’t matter.”

This kind of reminds me of a Dream Theater song called “Peruvian Skies” I don’t know what kind of music you like, but it’s progressive metal. Not like death metal or doom style, more like rock. But it’s good, so you should listen to it. Kind of helps the emotions a bit when you can relate.

Not sure what you were trying to get across with the “Oh her name doesn’t matter.” part, but then I don’t get a lot of poetry. I like it overall, you got the feelings out through the poetry and I didn’t find the rhyming annoying like a lot of poems do. So good job, keep practicing with grammar and spelling, people will complain about that a lot… I try not to let it ruin the stories or poetry I read for beginners, just cause grammar isn’t why you are writing… you are writing to let it all out. Anyway, keep it up!

This is so emotion and sad but understanding at the same. It represents what all girls are feeling today. That where all waiting for someone that doesbn’t really exsit.

Confused only has one “s”. “all screwed up” is an expression that might feel better in quotes. I’m not sure what you meant by “compotion”. Compassion maybe(?) I like where this poem is going, but there are some grammatical issues that need to be worked out.

If you are writing for yourself this is a good exploration of a feeling.
There are a lot of spelling issues and grammar issues. I see a lot of pain here but nothing specific in terms of a poem.
I am interested in the pain of the heartbreakers. Heart breakers are usually portrayed as heart less.  I do not like the rhymes. It does not serve the poem.
You need to get to the point and tell the reader what is going on. Be brave.
The other interesting part is I promise and her name.  It sounds like it too painful to trust anyone because you are hurt.
As hard as it may be to be artist you will have to get specific. Who is the they?

Start with the strongest line

I find all the “winners”
Screwed up…
I can’t help it.

No tears shed for the pain
of the heart breakers.
I promise forever…

Her name does not matter…
That will never happen
my heart has been through too much.

What’s a girl to do?

You say so much more with less.

first off:

confused  not confussed.

suppous=supposed.
compotion is not a word.

The poem needs some work before it is understandable. down the end it;s very hard to read it and you loose interest, like who cares about miss battered and bruised.

Ok, not a bad start for 16.

Work on your spelling and grammar (maybe spell check), and work on where you break the lines up.

Overall I think you expressed yourself well, maybe try using more images or metaphors, experiment with the different poetic elements. Ask yourself, “what is unique about my poem? Could just anybody write this? What other ways could I say something simple?”

Keep practicing with that paint brush and you’ll be painting some beautiful landscapes soon.

The poem is alright, but in order to take a cliche subject and have it work you must attack it in a out of the way fashion. I would suggest being more abstract and less matter of fact. This peom wasnt very interesting to read.