Poetry / Futures (Analysis)

I like this a lot. It has an innocence about it. I like the narrative, sort of like thoughts that we have when we are trying to make ourselves feel better about something…the irony of denial. I would take out the line about the family rarely talking to you or rework it a bit because it takes away from the innocence of the voice. If you could put it in a more innocent denial type voice like the rest. Well done!

I’m not generally one for free verse, but I think this is beautifully executed and very profound.  It’s somehow bittersweet, and I tend to like that in a piece—that it’s not necessarily one feeling or another, but a combination.  The only thing I wasn’t sure about was the contradiction in lines 6 and 17; the letters are being written so they can be clearly read, but then you assume the receiver can’t read…however, I could also see how this could be an intentional contradiction.  Either way, thanks for the profound read.  

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March 28, 2008

by zoeticrain

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It’s not that the person can’t read, it’s that the person is (in my opinion, obviously) older.

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This is to say the least unusual. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that in a bad way. The thought of a someone writing to a dead person because he/she is still not over that person is interesting. I feel a strong sense of reading it somewhere else but not being able to put a label on it. I truely love this especially the final lines. Do not rewrite them because, in my opinion, they are the very soul of your poem. Keep Writing.