Poetry / Futures (Analysis)

I do not know
what I will do when you die.
I suppose I can still write you letters.
I will mail them to your address
and know someone will collect them.
They will be handwritten, in large print
so you can read clearly
that I am doing well in school.
I will write you letters with
stories about the family.
(They rarely talk to me, but
it will make us both feel better.)
I will write you notes on postcards
and tell you I’m planning another trip.
I will ask how you are
but I won’t be upset if you don’t respond.
I will assume you couldn’t read my writing,
or maybe you are just too busy.

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cookie7878 avatar General Stranger

July 16, 2008

cookie7878

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cookie7878 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item
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Poetiquette101 avatar General Stranger

May 21, 2008

Poetiquette101

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chantalala avatar General Stranger

April 18, 2008

chantalala

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chantalala reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I like this a lot. It has an innocence about it. I like the narrative, sort of like thoughts that we have when we are trying to make ourselves feel better about something…the irony of denial. I would take out the line about the family rarely talking to you or rework it a bit because it takes away from the innocence of the voice. If you could put it in a more innocent denial type voice like the rest. Well done!

cooljim102055 avatar General Stranger

April 08, 2008

cooljim102055

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skip2mylou avatar General Stranger

March 28, 2008

skip2mylou

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skip2mylou reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item
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poeticLicense avatar General Stranger

March 28, 2008

poeticLicense

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poeticLicense reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I’m not generally one for free verse, but I think this is beautifully executed and very profound.  It’s somehow bittersweet, and I tend to like that in a piece—that it’s not necessarily one feeling or another, but a combination.  The only thing I wasn’t sure about was the contradiction in lines 6 and 17; the letters are being written so they can be clearly read, but then you assume the receiver can’t read…however, I could also see how this could be an intentional contradiction.  Either way, thanks for the profound read.  

Nvr2Young2Write avatar General Stranger

March 26, 2008

Nvr2Young2Write

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Nvr2Young2Write reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This is to say the least unusual. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean that in a bad way. The thought of a someone writing to a dead person because he/she is still not over that person is interesting. I feel a strong sense of reading it somewhere else but not being able to put a label on it. I truely love this especially the final lines. Do not rewrite them because, in my opinion, they are the very soul of your poem. Keep Writing.

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zoeticrain avatar

zoeticrain

Age: 24
Loc: United States
Gen: F
Last Login: July 05
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7 Reviews 1 Comment
Version 1
Latest Activity: about 1 year ago

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