Poetry / Life's Last Door (Analysis)

Very well written and the rhyme scheme is a great flow.  Normally I would say that I thought the theme was a cliche, but when done right it works.  I love the simplicity and image conveyed.  Only one thing “haven” looks like it should be read as “heaven.”  After many reads, one line jumped out to me that I thought didn’t make sense in S2, L4.  Thought “will” was “we’ll” but when I really thought about it, the line presents a strong idea of doing things out of the norm and just being with the one you love and being free never thinking about consequences is a nice feeling.  Nice read, hope this helps.

I’ve seen this “Sing-song” sort of AABB poem work well when it is written like this. But this peace really doesn’t provide anything special for me. It’s kind of typical and you don’t really show off your true talents. I’d reccomend rewriting the concept with a piece that actually captures your raw emotions and feels less “forced.”

This is truely a beautiful poem. It speaks of freedom, not the kind talked about today like freedom of religion or politics. This is being free to speak or not to, to run away and hope that things will take care of themselves even though they seldom do. This poem makes me feel as though there’s a better tomorrow and that freedom is a possibility to everyone. Excellent job :]

This poem was well put together with the ryhme and rythm except for the second stanza the fourth line kinda ruined the flow of the poem. Other than that I liked it.

I started to skip this this one but kept going back thinking of so many lovely lights in my life extinguished at such a young age.

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March 23, 2008

by Elf

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
178	62.0% (50 votes)	55.4%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
21	F	Canada	November 29

..I’m sorry…dose that mean you liked it? Or that you read it out of pity? Or…?

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I loved how you began the poem with a set rhyme scheme, then changed it come the second stanza. I also really enjoyed the way the words flowed together. Nice job. No spelling or grammatical errors is always a plus, and just the general layout is pleasing to the eye. Good job!

I like the concept here and see where you are going with it.
3rd line don should be dawn.
stars that soar, maybe?

I enjoyed the light simplicity of your words. You get a sense of floating, fragility and hope. The title and end line are almost comforting I like the idea behind this. Hope you get published.

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March 23, 2008

by Elf

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
178	62.0% (50 votes)	55.4%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
21	F	Canada	November 29

I think that is the first time someone was wished that for me…thanks!

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Beautiful!  And, the title caught my attention in the queue.  Your couplet rhyme was well used; I think the couplets sounded great with the short lines used.  Your last two lines hit home…beautiful.

A rather nice little poem, but the line: “Forget before” doesn’t seem to make sense, and appears forced into the poem to rhyme with “bore” in the proceeding line.