Poetry / Ode to the Window Crystal (Analysis)

And it is monday! I really enjoy this poem, the fact that a little crystal can brighten up the mondays gloom is a wonderous idea, the symbolism behind crystals promotes the securities, purity, and joy of life’s simplities. This is a one of a kind poem.

L3 – the word normal doesn’t quite fit… plain might be better.. something of a single sylable

L10 – benevolent implies power over another…. I’d recommend a word free of that implication

L12 – this line gives the sense that it is the bowl of cereal being filled with joy rather than the moment in time, which I think is what you meant to imply

A nice little happy moment shared…. thanks.

I really liked this.  There are only 4 or 5 words in your sentences, yet I was able to vividly imagine this scene because of your descripetiveness.  The “white walls” and the “silent” thanks gave the piece a very serene vibe.  Thank you.

I like it because it is very light hearted and positive. Great choice of words and format.

Love the images this evokes. Gives me pleasant warm feeling reading it.

Some of the lines could be sharpened though. This line,

“around the normal, white walls
of our ordinary, everyday kitchen.”

I feel like I this is little simple. Maybe a line in there about the plainess, something that describes the normalcy of it. maybe, “Walls, white with smooth unintersting brushstrokes.” Just a suggestion, but i feel it needs something just to give the wonderful flavor of the first 2 lines.

I would reverse thes 2 lines.

“I look around
as the colors dance”

“As the colors dance
I look around

It has nicer feel to it.

I love this piece, just play with it some more and it can be excellent

This is super. Publish it.

Hi, I gave you all sevens in your rating and a ten for clarity.

I liked the imagery that you wrote about in this poem, and the uplifting thoughts it emanates outwardly to it’s readers.

I noticed that in these stanzas, some were longer than the other ones. I would work over it in two of the stanzas, or make the second one a little longer.

Nice poem either way.

Take care

This was a lovely little poem on the gratitude of simple things.  In made me think of mornings before my coffee when I am in a zombie state and I zone out on the leaves in the trees.  There is only one thing that stuck out and it was the word “cereal”.  Personally if you just said “for filling my humble breakfast with joy” I feel the rhythm would flow better.  But maybe there is a reason behind “cereal”...we all have our reasons…who knows.  Good luck and great job!