Poetry / The Day You Were Born

That was really great! Nice wording and lovely rhyme scheme. Very Unique style going on there as well. That is so awesome. I wish you could rate above ten for some the criteria you have up there. I would easily rate 15 instead! This is a really deep and heart warming poem. People who read this and see it for what it is should definately feel it in their souls. Keep up the great writing!

• add/view comments (1)

March 05, 2008

by mysticmyst

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	53.8% (13 votes)	100.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
41	F	Warner, OK	April 16

Thank you very much. I’m so glad you likedit.

You must login to the site or create an account in order to post a comment.

I enjoyed this peice. It seems as if there is a little irony or something in here. You started out with the angles wept. Then at the end, you said you wept. I like how you keep it down to earth(makes me laugh about the angles if you get what I am saying..) and made it realistic. The angles were sad, you were happy. Showing that nothing can be perfect. With every prize comes a price. I hope you like my review!

• add/view comments (1)

March 05, 2008

by mysticmyst

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	53.8% (13 votes)	100.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
41	F	Warner, OK	April 16

I liked your review very much. I’m glad you enjoyed the poem

You must login to the site or create an account in order to post a comment.

  You have meter down, but lack punctuation.  You have beat down, but are far to wordy and rely on small filler words that take away from the poem.  It’s a very nice sentiment, but needs a lot of work.  
   Also, there is no need for such odd spacing.  This is a novice attempt and for rhyming poetry you are on the right track, but it is too simple, complicate it.  Poems succeed that cannot be summed up in less lines.

“earths front door”...earth’s

absolutely beautiful…makes me think of the day I brought my son home.
What an exciting Christmas day!

wow so beautiful like a little piece of ecstasy for my soul. as i read it it drew my mind to think about my beloved and  it expressed exactly how i feel for him. i feel alot of people can relate to  this poem especially those who are in love. i enjoyed how you space it out creating a poetic flow and a picture in my mind

This is very heartfelt and I can tell that your baby boy means a lot to you. However I’d like to see you work on it a little more, the first thing I noticed is that you misspelled “angel” in the 1st line. Overall the poem is a bit cliche, and perhaps a little droll. Try to spice it up a little, to avoid sounding like something my great grandma would needlework into a pillow.