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Children's / Wiggles the worm
Wiggle the worm was born in a black tin bucket. It was not in any way his fault. When wiggle worm was just a tiny worm egg, a large man in green plastic boots took a big blue spade and filled the bucket halfway. The man did not know it but in one of the scoopfuls of sand was wiggle’s worm egg. Wiggle was the only egg that ended up in the bucket and so wiggle the worm grew up quite alone. Wiggle had plenty of food and water as the bucket stood a little tilted under the eves of a large pink house. Wiggle was happy and did not know about other worms until the day of the big worm party.
All at once, Wiggles felt lonely. He had never felt lonely before and this new feeling made him sad.
The big worm party happens every year after the first summer rain storm. The worms come out of the soil and dance and sing. There are shows and jugglers and worm speeches. The worms make a tremendous amount of noise. The day of the worm party was just like any to a worm that lived all alone in a black tin bucket; he woke up and started nibbling through some soil. He liked best the warm moist soil at the very bottom of the bucket; all of a sudden he heard singing. Worm singing! He raced to the side of the bucket trying to get a closer look when he banged his head on the cold black metal. “Ouch” Wiggle thought and tried the other side. “Ouch” he said again as he banged his head against the other side. He tried and tried to get closer to the songs and he kept banging his head on the sides of the bucket. It is a funny thing because before this day Wiggles did not know that the bucket had any sides. Wiggles became sad, he heard some many worm’s laughing and playing and he could not find them. On his exhausting wiggle around the inside of the bucket, he had not met even one worm.
The next day Wiggle tried again and again, banging his head against the sides of the black tin bucket. Very soon, his head began to ache and he stopped trying.
One sad day Wiggles was sitting all alone on the soft soil in the middle of his bucket, when the wind began to howl and moan. The wind blew a tiny oblong black and white seed into the bucket. Wiggles sat shivering, feeling very very sorry for himself. He had not heard any worms all day. Wiggles curled up and fell asleep.
He woke up with a pounding headache and something hard and hairy leaning against his own soft pink worm head. It was nothing like he had ever seen before. He though at last he had met a worm. He grew very shy and blushed a deep red.
“Hi!” he said
The fine silky hairs quivered faintly but the hairy green worm did not talk.
“Hi” Wiggles said, a little louder this time.
Finally after many attempts at being friendly, Wiggles decided that this could not be a worm. Worms were friendly happy creatures – he knew because he had heard them playing and laughing. This green hairy creature was neither friendly nor happy.
Wiggles crawled closer until he felt the fine hairs beneath his long worm body, he discovered with delight that he could climb up and up. Very soon he was looking down at his soil he had spent his whole life in. He looked up and saw the wide black tin rim of the bucket and covering it, at the end of the stalk was the underside of a beautiful yellow flower. Wiggly scrunched his face against the harsh glaring sun and continued to climb. A gentle breeze swayed the flower back and forth and wiggles clung on with all his might. Very soon the stalk became thinner and he realized he could look over the rim of his bucket and into a field of grass. The sunflower bent as he went higher and higher and very soon he was over the edge of the bucket. He breathed deeply and he let go, down, down he dropped and plopped onto the grass. The fresh feel of it, and the soil beneath was soft and welcoming. All at once, a flying creature with great flapping things swooped down with a sharp open beak and Wiggles took a nose dive, burying himself deep with in the soft soil.
Wiggles was no longer sad or lonely, Wiggles found his friends. The next year Wiggles celebrated with his friends and the bucket sat under the eves, tilting ever so slightly.
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sjvance reviewed Version 1 -
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DCAllen reviewed Version 1 -
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pinestategal reviewed Version 1 -
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I did not see any glaring grammar problems with this piece and I found it to be a new and interesting concept. I would have liked to have read more about Wiggles interactions with the other worms once he finally met them, and perhaps more about the lessens that he had to learn that first year. Nice Job.
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MARCH reviewed Version 1 -
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Well I didnt spot any mispellings or anything. I liked this story, because even though he was happy and had everything he needed. He was lonely and to him being around other people became more important than having everything. Kids will learn that making friends and enjoying life is more important than materialistic stuff
bbandsissy reviewed Version 1 -
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This starts out as a good story, but it doesn’t feel finished. Maybe you could tell about Wiggles meeting other worms and making friends. Good luck.
sexysadie77 reviewed Version 1 -
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This wqas a very cute story. However, it seems that there are chunks of story missing. It goes from one point, and then immediatley jumps to another. I think you could really elaborate on this story more, and make this a stronger read. Personally, i hate the phrase “all of the sudden”. It seems like a cop out for skipping AN INTERESTING part of the story, to get to the point faster. That is just personal opinion, however. Try really beefing this up a little more. It will be charming!
RhapsodyRead reviewed Version 1 -
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I really enjoyed this story. You could add a little more suspense at the end by having the shadow of the bird pass over Wiggles as he is climbing out of the bucket.
BookSailor reviewed Version 1 -
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I like this story idea. The worm confusing the roots for other worms is great. I think this could certainly be expanded a little. How did he get in the bucket? I’d give the worm party a fun name and then refer back to it at the end. It’s not clear at the end what he was celebrating. Perhaps he could deliver a speech the next year?
I think it needs some polishing, but I would be interested in featuring it on my podcast after some more revisions. Please contact me at happyelf@booksailor.com for more information.
BambiPurrs reviewed Version 1 -
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Why wiggles was alone and in a bucket for so lone is not explained, and it nagged at me all through the reading. I liked the premise, but the story needs some more shaping and fleshing out. I did not catch how a seed became a flower so quickly either.
In general, the story has potential, but it is cut off too quickly once you hang with wiggles over each inch of his escape. Add and flesh it out and I would read it again.
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