Funny, I just changed the last line on this version based on comments from another reviewer. It is exactly nine syllables.
Limericks / Limerick from the Left #5
There once was a man named O’Reilly
Who thought of himself very highly
He’d pretend to be nice
Then his victims he’d slice
Armed with half-truths spoken so wryly.
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drbillpuglisi reviewed Version 2 -
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clcny20 reviewed Version 2 -
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Hm…this seemed a promising limerick, until the very end. I dunno, there’s just something about that last line that doesn’t quite roll of the tongue the way I think you mean for it to. It’s like there should be something between “truths” and “spoken”...maybe the word “all”? I hope you’re seeing what I mean?
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wvtriker reviewed Version 2 -
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Biased as I am against the content of this limerick, it is pretty good for what it is supposed to be. I think that working in fair and balanced would be a nice addition though, considering that Fox uses that slogan. Perhaps:
Fair and balanced his guise
for the third line.
klg143 reviewed Version 2 -
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I love this. Very witty. “Then his victims he’d slice” is fabulous. Great work.
ScottBJohnson reviewed Version 2 -
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the only part I don’t like is the “spoken so wryly”. I’m just wondering of the word “so” is completely necessary. It kind of screws up the meter and it reads better without it. Clever otherwise.
Catastrophe reviewed Version 2 -
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The last line is a little long, but excellent characterization of Mr. Bill. :)
Brynn reviewed Version 1 -
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Ah politics. LOL damn them and their “truths”
LOVED the insight and sarcasm. The flow was quite good with the slight hiccup in the last line. I know that is IS 9 syllables in the last, which follows the “rules” but I think you can bend those rules a bit for the sake of rhythm. It almost sounds like the emphasis needs to be one beat earlier in that line. Maybe one more syllable added? Kinda hard to explain, but nevertheless, well done! Loved the brutal truth…ahaha pun? I will keep an eye out for the other lefties=)
Eve
EAnonymous reviewed Version 1 -
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Two things I’d change:
Period after L2. Semicolon after line 3.
Otherwise, very funny limerick (and true)! :)
evath reviewed Version 1 -
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Very clever.
High marks from me.
I did think that although the last line was 9
it was awkward and could do with another syllable/beat
Man from Nantucket is 9-9-6-6-10
I don’t see why could couldn’t avail yourself of this
to even out your meter and improve the symmetry.
Although form was 99669,
I could only give you a 9 for lack of last line symmetry ;-(
Using half-truths he serves up so wryly.
Good luck!
ScottBJohnson reviewed Version 1 -
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With a name like O’Reilly, I was expecting a different ending. Something Irish and not very PC. It’s a good Limerick. The punch line needs a bit more punch, but it’s clever.
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