meadorma's profile

Overall a pretty good piece of work. Watch out for the overly dramatic cliches. Nothing in his dreams could prepare him...terror that nightmares were made of...get a little more creative with these types of lines. They've been done to death in most horror stories. Think about that terror...what it would really be like to be terrified. Not by monsters, but by real life situations, real people. Nightmares are not terrifying...watching your child fall of the roof of a truck is terrifying...getti...

Very pretty - Not sur if your talking about stars, moons or what. I would have liked to know. But very nice otherwise. Good job.

Your style is absolutely wonderful! I love the way your use words--one in ten thousand, my friend. I'd say you don't need as many metaphors as you have, although they are ALL a delight. It's a little bit distracting. Things like "I could touch his silence". When the padre speaks of what's inside, we lose a little point of view--I didn't understand the stranger could read him, until later. I think it's important you keep the POV in first person. Again, just a bit distracting. Extremely well wr...

Some nice imagery, but much of it is unclear. It is very good at setting a tone. I especially like the lasat stansa.

Very nicely done - You have some very nice language you use "if I've ever been esquirely enticed" but then you use Yeah - Just wondering if maybe a little more classical word - I love the "she lingers" part - very nicely done. The imagry is beautiful. And the again and again...I like the way its structured. I love the sand reference as well. Good job.