You have the dark hand of sarcasm down to a fine art my friend -- and I love dark sarcasm. You say you are not a writer but what you give is better, it's raw and unbridled.

I know this poem. I've lived this night. Being with friends but there is that one person there, that one person who isn't good for you. Who perhaps hurt you in the past. You somehow get lost in the haze of the night, and forget what they've done. Thank god for the reality of daylight. This is good! I like things that feel a bit disjointed, because that's really the way life is. Looking forward to reading more! ~Maureen

I thought this was very informative and well thought out. This will help a lot of people using the internet to branch out find new ways! Great article! Congrats! ~Maureen

I would love to see you re-write this without worrying so much about rhyming. The emotions and feelings you put forth are very real but I feel they get buried by your fear of not rhyming every sentance. Poetry need not rhyme to be poetic. Give it a try. Let your emotions be the rhythm of your words; forget about trying to rhyme. I'm going to bet you will find it much easier to write and you'll love the results as well. Best wishes and keep up the good work! ~Maureen

I love the imagery, it's so very visual. I can see this as also relating to the Viet Nam Memorial in Washington DC with its rows and rows of unending names. Very nice work.

Seriously? You wrote this when you were 12? When I was 12 I was still playing with Barbie Dolls! You show great promise at such a young age. Keep writing like this and image how great you'll be at 18! You have earned nothing less than a 10.

For some reason this feels very robotic to me. I'm not feeling the words or the emotions. Perhaps because, as you say, this is the exact opposite of your family -- which would mean there is a lot of unpleasantness in your home, correct? Hmmmm, that is most likely why I don't feel convinced by this story. It feels too fairytale, and from your perspective, it is. Still, while the grammer and sentance structure is good (save for one punctuation mark missing), I think I'd much rather read your re...

watching reflections of dreams that might of been Try: that might have been -- to paint an empty room where no will sit try: where no one will sit --- Not sure why there are periods at the end here: this shadowed hell. another sunrise waiting for to one to come. I would like to read this again after you've worked it more. It has potential but feels a bit too uneven. I don't think it's quite ready to be reviewed yet.

Hi, First, I thought the content was great. It was very engaging and it kept me reading. I think you did very well sticking to the facts while letting your own impression of the events show through. My hat's off to you! Now a few nit-picky items: Remember, no matter where you submit your article, always make sure your title is properly capitalized and that there is no period at the end of it. The title is the first thing your reader will see. Consider it someone's first impression of you! -- ...

I think you are off to a great start. Your children's story grabbed my interest and kept it. I was so sorry to see it wasn't finished. I'd love to read the rest of it. You show great promise and talent for such a young writer! Keep up the good work!