maninmirror's profile
AGE:
40
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 27
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 27
Here to read more than write.
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Version 2
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I’ve danced among the ludus nymphs And taken one companion. With lust full wings and dripping tongue Its’ lies displayed as fashion. My soul that branched as eager ray From love’s root, was torn apart- De-quenching every ounce, it may, The dry-spong’ness of my heart. Cries cheating lips, “forgive me please…” Speaks haughty eyes, “forget me not.” Impassioned grace my self release, “Not forgiven – but forgot.”
Version 1
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I miss you - but then remind myself I only fell in love with and know the you that first was shown to me. I changed, conforming to fit and stay with the you that appeared as the lies and secrets unfolded. I sat next to your new one today. (You have a third in two months since!) I wanted you back- but now I want myself back. You I don't love - but the fecade you created to cover up the real person that I would have inevitably been killed by. Would I have loved you had you been honest at the fi...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
I’ve danced among the ludus nymphs And taken one companion. With lust full wings and dripping tongue Its’ lies displayed as fashion. My soul that branched as eager ray From love’s root, was torn apart- De-quenching every ounce, it may, The dry-spong’ness of my heart. Cries cheating lips, “forgive me please…” Speaks haughty eyes, “forget me not.” Impassioned grace my self release, “Not forgiven – but forgot.”
Version 1
3 Reviews
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I thought I talked too much Until I met one who never shut up Now I remain silent I thought I had many friends Until I made a true one Now I have only one I thought I had to offer sex for love Until I fell in love and was broken Now I remain prudent I thought I had too many lovers Until I loved one with many more Now I have none
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Reviews
Wow...very well written. But it's odd in a very interesting way...I've never seen a poem written from a "building up walls" perspective and it is an "interesting" twist to the old saying 'Love is never having to say you're sorry.' Not sure what I think about that. The poem, though well written, makes me feel uneasy. Perhaps I have the wrong idea about it. You're welcome to clarify.
This is my favorite of yours. It lacks the pretention of the previous. More raw honesty on your part. THAT makes better poetry to me. Well done.
Wow! I really like this one. Really. It took a few reads before I truly understood. It has a lot of hidden undertones. I've been in your shoes before. You voice that feeling well. Intrigued to know what's going on "there."
I really enjoy your language! It is witty and profound. I really like where it leads me to interpret. A personal favorite of mine. My only nitpicky thing, did you intend for it to be a run-on sentence?...i.e. no punctuation until the very last phrase?
I really enjoyed reading this...it's epic and philosophical and has an eb and flow of a confused emotion yet a little bittersweetness with remorse. I love the aspect of the crow and the self analysis. I have a lot of work like that too but not the guts to put it out for others to see...I'm no expert. Good luck with your work!
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