lyttleton's profile

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AGE: 25
LOC: SF, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 11

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Version 3
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Dear Jud,  Yahweh is both a focused exploration of one family through three generations and an observation of the culture and evolution of humans. It begins with Wyatt, a New York graduate student from the Midwest, whose traditional religious background that he shunned comes back to taunt him the day he learns that a message received from space contains only one word:  “Yahweh.”   From this starting point, the novel weaves together the storylines of Wyatt, his son ...
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Non-fiction / Memoir
Version 1
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Stupid choices. Still happier than dad.
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Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
Four brothers and a sister. They took William from his bassinet and he died in papa’s hands. Barely 30 hours old. Then it was, again, three brothers and a sister. William’s birth and death took place in June, late 80’s. I think I forget which year. By the time school started up that fall, people had stopped giving us their condolences, and aside for a few sideways glances from other students at any mention of death, most people seemed to have forgotten all about William. Even mama and papa n...
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This reads a lot like something Chuck Palahnuik would write, which is both a compliment and also a criticism, since I think you don't do enough to establish your own voice here. Whether you are a fan of his or not (I'd have to imagine you are, or would be), I think you have to do more to establish a distinctive style. The characters are interesting, the narrative is perverse, the plot is strange... all excellent features, but I'm left wanting. For instance, something Palahnuik does well (thou...
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(Okay, so first off, I added you as a friend because I didn't realize how this site worked and read your story before I realized I could not review it.) I did read this whole piece, every last word, which even surprised me a bit. We have no knowledge of each other, so what I say can only be taken at face value. I found the voice of this piece a bit hard to get into. There was just nothing in your narrator's tone or way of addressing me (the reader) that made me feel like I wanted to know her ...
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