lear_the_strong's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: Canada
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 02
LOC: Canada
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 02
While most people
converse it all away
I
write it down.
♥ Charles Bukowski
Items
Version 1
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I wish I was a blade of grass they look so damn happy so tall and green unaffected by love – and hate They couldn’t feel pain if I burned it it wouldn’t cry I would I do the grass is green and I am still blue
Version 1
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A cockroach scuttles Beneath a closed door, This door I see Caked in filth and misery Is archaic; mysterious terrible. Behind me, my past And memories manifest themselves physically. They are specters, Those that haunt my every step. Howling and crying! These specters of mine they bite. Before me is a hall way that is so treacherous it blunders my attempts to pass through it. I push forward – mustering together the energy I just d...
Version 2
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I woke up covered in dry piss, in the underground parking lot of a mall. Of all the damn places to pass out, it was dirty, soiled ground. I wanted to cry, or punch someone. It was still early morning and the sun was just rising over the mountains to the east. There were no cars yet the city was still. A chill was sitting on the wind and whistled in and out of the muddy glass doors. I rolled out of the dry piss, but the stench followed me. A couple of quarters fell out of my torn pocket...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
I woke up covered in dry piss, in the underground parking lot of a mall. Of all the damn places to pass out, it was dirty, soiled ground. I wanted to cry, or punch someone. It was still early morning and the sun was just rising over the mountains to the east. There were no cars yet the city was still. A chill was sitting on the wind and whistled in and out of the muddy glass doors. I rolled out of the dry piss, but the stench followed me. A couple of quarters fell out of my torn pocket and r...
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
Who needs nature? What, with all the people dying in the wilderness, bears eating random travelers, storms knocking over skyscrapers, and those cute, little kittens tearing the throats out of your neighbours? We can bring all this madness to an end, with our stunning new product, Biobot (all rights reserved, Reboorn Co.). With extensive research being conducted on nanobot technologies, in only 10 years we will be able to program your brain into a computer and upload you into a Biobot. This Bi...
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Reviews
Great story!! The beginning of the story was a little awkward. I think that you should show things rather then explain them more often in stories (a little advice I remembered from my old high school English teacher). I love the way you pulled me through the story though. It was heart touching. The end was so ultimately sad. I think you should re-edit the beginning. The end was amazing. Mysterious.
This poem was a spledid piece. It painted a perfect picture of the anxiety of a lover and the end submission. I think that a few lines were a little cliche, and you should try and use a more original metaphor for effect. "There’s an unbearable wall built between me and you" This imaginary wall always seems to be appropriate when talking about emotions, although so many people use it - it is just plain boring. "So please bitter lover" Bitter lover, it doesn't seem to fit, it might be just me -...
It was a well written piece. The Query letter was very convincing and introduced the plot and character well enough. But the story, what a story! At one point I felt like I was going to cry. He had her hair? That was some intense plot lines. A story is great in my eyes when it evokes strong emotions. Bravo!
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