lazyeyethom's profile

lazyeyethom avatar
AGE: 24
LOC: Mount Vernon, WA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 19

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Items
Non-fiction / Change
Version 1
7 Reviews   0 Comments
I know now that the world isn't going to change in a constructive way from religion. Nor is the world going to be redeemed by law, or philosopher's epiphanies. Revolutions start because one person cannot live any longer without a change of environment, and they have the motivation to find others with the same cause. Most of us live as the simple animals that we go out and hunt. We have a pack leader who decides what we eat, when we kill and how we behave and the thought that right and wrong m...
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Poetry / bathrooms
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
it will rain tell people a -bout your cloud! drops in digital ticks splashing pixels inthe ocean floor pension of your penalties translated revealing Side Afor instructions see reverse side for reptile exhibit. hear -ing repition cedar chesting exhumes, despite best intentions, statues of kings it will be known! in the know, now, five knots below the masted blueprint center of the pond lies the faint yellow sun, arming a dissapointed army of expectations melody cool , i'm thieves in the templ...
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Poetry / Untitled
Version 1
3 Reviews   0 Comments
She sings so I can hear it. How's my voice? She doesn't ask, but I can hear it. It's in her tone, in her bones it's an unspoken understanding and I leave it alone Give me a kiss baby and then I'll go one for the heartbreak and one for the road I leave and all I can think about is everything but her A song for my whistlin lips, brings up a salty bum's version of alcohol and politics "it's all a drag maaaan" he tells me "my baby left me, i hate this country, and i can find no one to love me. Wi...
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Version 1
1 Review   1 Comment
My busted reputation follows me down to the gallows, hello devil, get off my back and save your flamin' arrows The swift decline of modern times and kings and queens and pharoahs shows that everything is almost alright Sister plays too much these days with games and shallow laughter I'm so sorry friend that she just wasn't the one you're after Still something in her soul can take me higher than the rafters tellin me everything is almost alright The universe is infinitely brazen with its stars...
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Poetry / To Winslow
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Unfinished sketchings of characters fetching and dressing you up in your pride, take all but your pennance, they finish your sentence, as the jury takes nothing but sides. Oh Winslow, you're chasing the foundations shaking and breaking your heart and your bones, but stop for a minute and think to go visit the poor inmate who sits all alone. Robbers and lawyers, comedian tom sawyers will be judged for their time is now near and the gays will all praise him, don't worry about savin' the liberal...
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Reviews
I think your over all flow and word choice is nice for what you're trying to convey. My only criticism would be that it seems to be a little too exclusive to your own experience. The reader feels like they are not fully invited to what is going on and it causes a little bit of frustration because there is nothing offered at the end as explanation.
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You have a lot of stuff to say and it is really entertaining to me. At first it seemed a little too disjointed and abstract to get published, but as I kept reading I realized that that was a theme and it was actually a pretty good way to set the mood for the rest of your writing. I think you have a good sense of humor, at least in my opinion. Full of sarcasm and twisted laughs. The only thing that would probably come between this piece getting published is your spelling and punctuation. Munda...
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I like this a LOT. It's very moving as I follow what seems to be the life of a person and discovering an artistic beauty about the world. I really like how in the beginning I wasn't able to guess at all what this piece would turn into. I thought it was going to be some new mother's ode to her new baby which would have been sort of boring (no offense to people who do that sort of thing) but the dramatic change of tone really struck me. I like how you describe art in this piece, it reminds me o...
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