labornis's profile

Do you think of us much on old MacDougal? A stone throw from the Reggio cafe. Do you remember that boy and all his fantasies. Or was that not how you thought of me? What I had to say was always left unsaid but I hope something gave me away. Like those pictures that you made. They hurt me when I stayed but I was glad you kept them that way. Can you still say my name like you used to do? Oh how you did it wrong but I approve. For here nothing is right when we're writing sad songs and dreaming o...

The world has gone mad. Did you know that, in the calamity of Hurricane Katrina, the US military has lost 36 armed attack dolphins? Did you even know there were such things as ARMED ATTACK DOLPHINS?? They are trained to shoot their toxic dart guns, which are attached to special harnesses. Anyone who has watched the first two minutes of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" will remember the claim that dolphins are the second most intelligent species on Earth (first are alien rats) and have d...

Last night I rented the uber-witty "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and was surprised by the subtle messages imbued in the eye candy adventure. It features an alien race of greasy, fat, bureaucratic slobs that blew up the insignificant planet Earth to clear the path for their hyperspace travel. Could this be a faintly disguised attempt to criticize Bush's America and Afghanistan (via Michael Moore's assertion that we--yes WE-- bombed the country to clear a path for oil lines)? Read: oil = ...

What the fuck is wrong with our country? Can't we do anything right anymore? This morning's breaking news involves the death of 20+ elderly evacuees on a bus headed away from Hurricane Rita to avoid the ill fate of those senior citizens who were left to die during Hurricane Katrina. The only news of relief is that some managed to escape the exploding bus. As of the time of writing, the cause of the fire leading to the explosion has not been confirmed, but it is speculated to be due to the bus...

YOUR PENIS IS A THERMOMETER (quote, unquote), claims “Best Life” magazine. Their slogan is what matters to men and I say I can’t agree more. Anyways, they apparently did a poll that links erection problems to major illnesses. Guys: faced with Why are you putting it there!? you can cite the publication (practically a journal) and explain you’re just trying to get an accurate reading of her. Gals: The article also reads “’The penis...is the thermometer of men’s health,’ says Ridwan Shalbsigh, M...