kuber's profile

kuber avatar
AGE: 39
LOC: Grand Rapids, MI
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: May 17

I love the world of writing, just don’t always have the time for it with my work schedule which is a poor excuse. It’s an easy way out of blame, but I am working on it. Their’s nothing more thrilling than creating a world that people are attracted to you and feel like they are actually there. I wish I would’ve been able to grasp this whole grammer thing, that’s why I have all you and people around me to help shape the final work. Hope you enjoy the journey that I am about to take you on.

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Version 1
13 Reviews   0 Comments
Chapter 2 - A New Day “Hey Sammy…what should we do today?” Yelled out little Keith as they came to a stop from their skipping version of follow the leader. The day was as pleasant as it had been the day before and once again birds of all colors were out in full force flying from treetop to treetop. Invading their songs of praise was the constant yep of a dog in the distance. “I don’t know,” Sammy spoke out. “Does anyone have any ideas?” Putting a finger to his lips, deep in thought as his lit...
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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
The cover seemed heavier and the pages thicker than it ever had felt before, but maybe it was just how it appeared to the mind of Reggie. It was possible after all for we were talking about the thoughts of one Reggie Miller in a place that always had something to say, his head. Disinclined, Reggie turned through the wrinkled pages of the notebook but in no particular order. The redness in his eyes made it almost impossible to scan the shaky handwriting which lined the various pages enticing ...
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Children's / Sammy the squirell
Version 1
16 Reviews   0 Comments
It was a sunny day, the sunniest that Jeffrey and his friends could remember. Though at the age of nine, Jeffrey only knew of that day and perhaps that week. It had been unusually sunny in their little town called Grand Rapids. The birds were out and flying from tree top to tree top, singing out their songs of happiness, as the clouds danced across the sky in tune with their whistling melodies. Jeffrey led the way as the rest followed close behind singing out songs, each in their own particul...
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Version 1
6 Reviews   2 Comments
[Knock-Knock] “Reggie…you coming to dinner?” The sound of his mother’s voice barely able to break through the solitude of the wooden door and what it brought to his world. No sound was expelled or allowed to escape for that matter from the fortress of Reggie’s room. With the door locked and shackled in a sense or at least barricaded in the dillusionary thoughts of Reggie’s mind. With no sounds present it still did nothing to help calm the fears inside his mother’s gut and her mind. [Knock-Kn...
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Poetry / My Final Leap
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
My life is a shallow grave My words...my epitaph The more they took, The more I gave Along this long and crooked path My pain needs no reflection Bitterness now a part of the past The curse of someone's affection Trapped in the lonely stares that they cast My friends...now a thing of the past Abandoned like the day I was born Unable to see past the image that I cast Unable to forgive the day I was born Watching those that surround me Wishing to be half of what I see But reality is sure to str...
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Reviews
It ended much too soon Try - Though it ended much to soon She’d walk home at four I would put She would walk home at four - it sounds smoother this way She left me wanting more try - Always left me wanting more The touch of her skin so soft Maybe - To touch her skin so soft In my mind I walk back Maybe - In my mind I travel back At the beginning of Fall Not sure what this line has to do with the poem My mind its still stalking Maybe - Within my mind I find it still stalking She never knew try...
The first thing I look for when reading poetry is flow...does each line flow into the next without detouring the reader from the image being created. Some of the choices of words and images prevented this from happening. In some parts you repeated the same exact line...these parts challenge me to think of new ways to same the samething. In her heart she holds a book (I would try: In her heart she holds life's book) as an example of letting the reader know what kind of book we are refering to ...
Poetry / Disgust
But how to know offense? Of our own B.O. Abbreviations in poetry are a hard sell, not everyone is going to know what that stands for and I think it cheapens the piece. I'm sure their is a different choice of words that could be used that will help the reader invision this picture. It's a nice piece...perhaps looking at alternative words to smell would to give the piece some more mature stature. Good luck.
Poetry / Will you?
But you insist I have a taste, This line seems out of place...like it should be in the phrase above and not starting off the next piece where it has nothing to do with it. When I cry for help, Will you hear the sound? I know you want this to rhyme with ground I just don't think its a strong enough line to be in the piece because I beieve it should be voice and not sound...so than it wouldn't fit. Will you lie Maybe try: Would you lie Laughs as you watch, I don't get what this means to the pie...
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