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krstna4943's profile
AGE:
28
LOC: Augusta, ME
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 16
LOC: Augusta, ME
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 16
I’ve recently begun writing again and this time I’m looking to publish some of my work. I have written a few short stories and poems. I’ve also just completed my first book. It’s a young adult thriller. I will be working on publishing that soon. Mostly, I’m just looking for honest comments on my pieces, good and bad. Besides that, I’m happily married and have three wonderful boys.
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Version 1
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When I first looked in your eyes I felt very much alive You made me feel so very warm Deep down inside When you told me that you loved me My heart began to skip I’ve never felt so happy Since that moment when we kissed Later when we married I gave my soul to you We even had two children Who both were named by you Many years had past We both grew old with age Our love stayed young and vibrant And never missed a day One morning we awoke And climbed up out of bed We saw a brilliant sight Shining...
Version 1
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The way I feel is so sad and so real. My heart aches from the pain My thoughts scream out your name Just hours ago I heard your voice on the phone And I can still remember the last words that you told. It was silly of us to argue I was wrong and I'm so sorry I told you that I hated you And said we shouldn't be And even after all of this You still said that you loved me Angry and frustrated I quickly stopped the call I swore I'd never see you I refused to take your calls That evening after I c...
Version 3
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Looking out the cabin window, I watch as heavy beads of rain smash into the glass and explode like tears falling from the heavens. The orange buoys in the water sway back and forth repeating themselves as the waves try carrying them out to sea. In the distance I spot the tall brick lighthouse brightly shining its light through the thick, evening fog. The water is rising fast and the waves are becoming stronger. The lighthouse knows it must work hard to warn the sailors. It is coming, the sto...
Version 1
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Jenny quietly hid in the corner of her bedroom closest, crouched in the fetal position. She could still hear the screams of terror from her family, just moments ago. Slowly she crept towards the closest door and peaked out the shades of it. She could see the alarm clock on her nightstand. The red, bold numbers stood out like brightly lit flares. “Two a.m. on August 5th of ’09. She would never forget this day; the day she lost everything. The gray cordless phone was resting in its cradle next ...
Version 1
1 Review
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Looking out the cabin window, I watch as heavy beads of rain bounce off the glass like miniature ping pong balls. The orange buoys in the water sway back and forth repeating themselves again and again. In the distance I spot the tall brick lighthouse brightly shining its light through the thick, evening fog. The water is rising fast and the waves are becoming stronger. The light house knows it must work hard to warn the sailors. It is coming, the storm of the century. The local fisherman hav...
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Reviews
This story was amazing! The details made it so visual. In the beginning I didn't know what to think when I was reading the story. At first I thought it was someone else that had been captured. Then I thought it was the person who kidnapped the girl and had a split personality. The ending blew me away. You definetly have good talent.
Very good!! I especially loved "dragging its pregnant, swollen belly over Craggy’s wooden top." I could visualize this massive storm moving in. Keep up the good job.
I thought your story was very good. At first I was able to relate with the oldest sister. I can understand how annoying it is to always listen to your younger sister whining. But as I read on, it completely surprised me. I didn't expect Shelia to try and harm her sister. It sounds like you could make this into a chapter book. If more is added to the story, I would love to read it and find out what happens. You have great potential.
I enjoyed reading this piece. It held true meaning when you stated "The son full of expectation and acceptance was deeply hurt". Almost everyone in live experiences this. It was definetly something people can relate to.
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