Wow I must say there is some strong emotion in your poem. And toward a union that is usally looked upon as the most blissful day of any girl's life. Your voice was consistent and pleasant throughout the piece, your descriptions were strong and painted a clear concise picture. The only line I had a little trouble with was "But mother’s tears still bloomed in great black drops." I am not certain what you were trying to portray, I understand where you were going, I believe finding a better way o...

This story took me along a very sad but stong feeling path. I was expecting the regular fairy tale story based upon the title, I am more pleased with the story of "The Grand Duchess of The Fatherless..." I love that fact that you spoke mostly as story teller would. Turning a bruise into a trophy is so clever, it allows the little 5 and 6 year olds minds, and any other age the understanding of the pain on an entirely new level when told so "glamourously". This is an Amazing piece.

I definately enjoyed the overall of this poem. Your descriptions are full and pleasing, your right your rhythm could use a little work, I don't necessarily feel an entire re-work is necessary, just focus a little less on your descriptions so the flow can work itself in.

I enjoyed your piece to a point. I personally love baseball and unfortunately don't know all there is about Ty Cobb except the references of his name to the sport. You did a wonderful job of telling a story and providing factual information in fantasy like way. And after reading your piece I can now say I know more about what made Ty Cobb the legend he is. There is not too many poems that can do that. In that same sense I would have to say that your sentences are a bit lengthy/wordy almost bo...

This is an interesting tale. It's sad and dark yet with your line "He never raised his voice at me when he was angry" it also shows compassion from this evil man. I think that you could work a little on your line structure and possible shorten a few lines with less works and still not loose your vision. For example your line "and it never mattered to me whether he killed a stranger" could possible be summed up to "it didn't matter that he killed a stranger". Unless you are going for something...

Quite inspirational. You are right indeed the feeling is there. I feel that having the "It was a Sunday" repeated throughout your piece was important specifically to me as I relate Sunday to religion and their ideas of love, life and giving, as well as to a quiet relaxing day. While the structure of your lines could be tweaked to better help the poem to flow, your descriptions and examples throught the work is quite powerful yet calm. You managed to fight for a cause(s) and there was no sign ...

WOW! This is an extremely wonderful story. Sad of course, but very easy to relate to in many of it's aspects. You did a wonderful job incorporating storys of the past and tid bits of facts from Maria's family life to the present. I was able to visualize the entire story play out and I have never been to California or knew what you were referencing. I just understood, because of your wonderful descriptions. I was quite shocked to find he died though. I know that you mentioned it in the beginni...

I enjoyed your opening paragraph giving us a history of your main character and including specific pieces of information i.e. "disarming an unexploded bomb" provides so much in so little words about the character's father and allows us to visualize many scenarios the vividness of the bomb exploding. I feel that you could be more descriptive in other areas that you kind of lost me where I had a hard time reading. I.E. "Now that I’m ten, my life is tough". This sentence in it's two parts both s...

I believe you have a wonderful concept... "what is a poet without words?" A topic not often attempted or perfected. For to describe a poet without words one must well use words. Your descriptions are ok, they could use a little work in the flow and syllibles used to assit in not confusing the reader once they try to find the rhythm. They do have great potential. One suggestion I make to possibly assist in the flow and overall "story" is to separate each thought with a blank line, a mear pause...

Very powerful! For me it is sad to think so many live this and don't add on living for themselves. It's safe to say we may only have one life on Earth and to use it to life by the rules of Government, work, and a god you've never met.