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AGE: 22
LAST LOGIN: January 13

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Version 1
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The King said true Upon a tower our worlds do sit but not of stone is this tower made atop a gambler's deck of cards do we stand and in this realization did the dark childe come for the knowledge cast shadows that blotted out his hope like the sun
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Version 1
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I killed a man in Texas Shot em straight through his heavy heart It wasn't hard, the whole thing bloated and about to burst I'd like to say I layed em in the dust and the coffin man came to pick up the corpse in his shiny new death cab of a hearse But it didn't quite go down that way..... He was dying anyway......Right? When I blew that tactless telltale heart out the front of his chest Blood spattered across the pavement like so many spilt drops of something kinda like nostalgia I couldn't f...
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Poetry / Veratus
Version 1
1 Review   1 Comment
I once stared God in the eye and saw him blink Only then did I relize It was was my own reflection I was trying to stare down.
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Poetry / A Folded Soul
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
Have you ever felt your soul being folded into Oragami, then set alight? And watched it wilt and glow? Even temporary folds leave creases that last a lifetime.
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Short Story / A Companion-revised
Version 1
13 Reviews   2 Comments
It was another late night that I sat at my desk, deep within my study. Outside the sun had long since set on the earth. Tall old trees kept vigil over me. Their long gnarled roots erupting from the marshy ground. Spanish moss hung from their limbs like shawls on the shoulders of the elderly, clothing less needed in the bayou's warm climes. Sitting at my desk, I gazed across old pictures and choked on the memories they brought back. The house was still, a dim glow emanated from a light on the ...
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Reviews
Hopefully you were going for a sarcastic humour, because thats what I got out of it. I enjoyed the piece, so you covered the first base of getting and keeping my attention. I liked the flow, it didn't feel choppy in the least and I very much enjoyed the ending. Also, not being female, I found it intriguing to follow along the inner monolouge of a woman going out with a guy for the first time, always thought provoking to see the difference in thought patterns between the two sexes.
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Got my attention. So for starters, spelling, and word choice. The spelling was simply a handful of minor errors here and there, maybe a half dozen or so, perhaps a few more. As far as word choice, there are a few instances, more so twoards the opening and directly after the introduction of Brea where the character's name is a bit over used instead of substituting with the appropiate pronoun. "Brea did this. Brea did that. Brea was here. etc" I'm giving an exaggerated example but for clarity's...
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from a poetic point of view, i like where your coming from, you don't as often see the other side of unrequited love, some points for that. On the other side it's short, really not enough to make a song, at least not without reapeating the chorus ad nauseaum, but with the right instrumentals it could, maybe be pulled off. Lastly, the lyrics speciffcly have a kind of general pop feeling to them, not incredibly profound but thoughtful enough for someone to actually relate to, which is critical ...
Flows well and for as much rhyming as you used, I'm guesing you were sticking to a particular meter, it comes off pretty well without sounding cheezy. Also, it's good that the subject matter, while obviously interpersonal relationships are a thouroughly done topic, comes across without to much of a hint of cleshae(sp?).
Poetry / Familiar
Let me just say True That But on a more intellectual note, I'm taking this as a recountance of someone who you couldn't/shouldn't be with but yet is still absolutley magnetic to you, pulls you in, wether or not she means to. Hopefully I've got that interpretation reasonably accurate. With that caveat in place, great piece of work. I really feel like your getting some meaning across and though it is something that is probably a common emotional tribulation, it's not this standard "you don't lo...
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