klg143's profile

klg143 avatar
AGE: 39
LOC: Janesville, WI
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 03

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Items
Short Story / Untitled For Now
Version 2
2 Reviews   2 Comments
A love of paper: this is what had drawn them both to work for the publishing firm. The words on the page, they agreed, were one thing, an important thing even; but, the paper they were applied to, printed on, held the real significance. Through conversations caught around the water cooler, they elaborated on this shared position. “It’s almost magical,” she said, “how the feel of paper can alter one’s mood.” “Yes,” he agreed, “it’s quite sensual. The touch, the smell, the look of it…the sound ...
Ratings & Rankings
Haiku/Senryu / Synopses
Version 1
8 Reviews   6 Comments
Kill Bill v.1 Bill’s chicks can kick ass They beat The Bride and shot her Now they’re on her list Kill Bill v.2 Deadly Vipers gone. Five-Point-Palm Exploding Heart: That’s how she kills Bill Stranger than Fiction He is not a man Just a figure in her book But he wants to live Idiocracy Woke up in future Dumb, fat people all around... Documentary? The Tell-Tale Heart Old man, wonky eye Chopped up and laid under floor Do you hear that thump?
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
1 Review   1 Comment
We arrived, late, on the court. As we walked carefully past the other players, the reverberation of the balls against cement caused the reality of the moment to seep in and forced my thoughts to our eventual denouement: After a loss, or after a win, would she willingly capitulate? Play began. I watched, in awe, the arc of her body as she raised her arm and heard, after, the sibilant sound of the racket sweeping through the air, but my mind could not connect the two. I stood motionless, floode...
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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
How simple to conflate that true love starts When sweet speech from a belov’d mouth abounds, As the reverberations of our hearts Commingle with those artful sib’lant sounds. But vexing when a shadow dims the brow Of one by whom we’d thought to e’er be loved, And queries of when passion left, and how, Cause only greater sentiment removed. The denouement is difficult to guess When at this cruel crossroads we’ve arrived; This lesson solely learned from the distress Of thinking that affection was...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Untitled For Now
Version 1
6 Reviews   11 Comments
A love of paper: this is what had drawn them both to work for the publishing firm. The words on the page, they agreed, were one thing, an important thing even; but, the paper they were applied to, printed on, held the real significance. Through conversations caught around the water fountain, they elaborated on this shared position. “It’s almost magical,” she said, “how the feel of paper can alter one’s mood.” “Yes,” he agreed, “it’s quite sensual. The touch, the smell, the look of it…the soun...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Overall, I think you've got some lovely ideas here, and I like the wording for the most part. I have made suggstions throughout to "clean it up," though. :) Let me know what you think. When all the clockwork turns fey and things return (revolve?) to an unhardened day of strife in vain i will be clean again. And when the soul evades/eludes/flees its doom and escapes human hands to be free to fly in turn, so will i Only in stars, and nebulae, and dreams can one live truly clean but also, unseen...
Poetry / 0101 0001101
constant sound, ignoring all the users fees. trying to figure out how natures found a way to hide all its numbers away From deepest blue ocean, blue- right through green, forest greenery, straight on to the composition of me and you.
Poetry / With Me
This is very sweet and endearing. The beginning is lovely, very peaceful; "I feel you in my soul" is lovely and heartfelt. However, from "But no matter how far it may be" on, even though it may be just as heartfelt, it begins to seem trite. I would especially suggest some changes to "You will always by in my heart." One, this is an overused phrase, and two, you mention heart again on the next line: "I thank you with my whole heart." I might try combining the lines "For being a friend./A frie...
Locked
Haiku/Senryu / blow hard!
I can't really suggest any changes, because I love it as it is. "blow hard winter wind" is fabulous. Great job.
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