kittykatrivera's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 05
LOC: United States
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 05
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Items
Version 1
12 Reviews
1 Comment
JOURNEY Joey Karyssa Christina Nicole Mrs. Owenss (Catherine) Joey's sister (Ashlee) Bus Station guy (Kyle) Crazy street guy (Kyle) MOM: Joey. . . Joey. . . Dinner's ready. . .(CURTAINS OPEN) MOM: Come on Joey, what are you doing? It's a little late in the afternoon for a nap don't you think? (SHE TURNS HIS LIGHT ON, OPENS WINDOW, SOMETHING) ~ JOEY: (PULLS COVERS OVER HIS HEAD, ROLL OVER) Uhnng . . . MOM: Come on Joey, it's time to eat. (SIGH) I'll be in the kitchen. (EXITS TO KITCHEN) JOEY: ...
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Version 1
1 Review
1 Comment
Thank you for the delicious valentine, But let’s find out if it’s sweeter then mine. Grab a pack of that french vanilla cocoa And prepare for a kick that’ll make you go loco. When the cocoa is made, Don’t be afraid, To taste something sweet, for your new cookie treat. Oh, and by the way, I’m sorry to say, One of your cookies, Parted my way. It was yummy. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY & THANKS FOR THE HOT COCOA! I ENJOYED IT VERY MUCH
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Version 1
3 Reviews
1 Comment
“I told you, I don’t want anything!” was the same thing I said to my mother every Christmas. As soon as the Christmas season came, after all the turkeys and Thanksgiving holiday spirit was gone, my mother seemed to think my answer would change every year. It was the Christmas after my 18th birthday, the biggest Christmas of all. It was my senior year of high school. My mother had promised me years ago that this would be the Christmas that I would get something special, something important th...
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Awesome, I really enjoyed this, but there wasn't as much profanity as I had expected there to be, what you used, I believe, just builds the character you created. I will definitely look forward to more of your work! Great end to the chapter too, will make the reader want more.
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Whoa . . . It's like Silence of the Lambs crossed with Saw. Excellent dialogue. I was caught with the first couple lines. Very sick and twisted, would be very interesting seen played on stage! The only thing I can think of that might need a little work is it gets a little monotonous when Jared tells his stories. I think two stories is perfect, and then moving on to the rest of the story would keep readers hooked. Could use a little touching up in the formating, the use of multiple dialogue st...
Wow I really liked the story! The details seemed fine to me, there wasn't too many to be bogged down with or distracted by, but just enough to feel a sense of what was going on. I like the character details as well, and the way you developed them. I was a little confused however at first by Barb, I couldn't quite visualize her until towards the end, and still she seemed a little vague to me. I'm curious to know what happens with the bake-in and the trip . . . Awesome story!
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It has potential to it. The only thing I'm confused about is whether this is a story, or a biography of a person . . . There is no conflict, just basic descriptions of Pearl. What she likes, what she does, what she did in school, etc. I would suggest adding a story line to this, and leave the descriptions for describing and not as the main focus of the story. I like how you added the poetry however, it is a very nice touch and would be something interesting to read along with the story. Keep ...
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