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katemonster's profile
AGE:
24
LOC: Denver, CO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 30
LOC: Denver, CO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: May 30
Colorado college student working on lit/creative writing major. Am working on getting as much feedback as possible (harsh, useful feedback) because I want to get on the publishing train.
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This is the sort of place a sort of person like me—like I am or like I was or maybe will be again—should go on vacation and thrive and come back and brag about: I read the newspaper, I recycle, I wear Birkenstocks and buy sweatshop free clothing and do yoga and eat organic food and install solar panels for a living and go to conferences on renewable energy. Social injustice pisses me off. I know the difference between the Shiites and the Sunnis and how colonialism has affected the world. I kn...
Version 1
11 Reviews
1 Comment
Say Say Old Playmate I saw her only on Sundays, playing hookie from catechism classes. In the beginning, we would sneak into grown up church and watch the dull faces and nodding heads pretend to listen to Latin. When she would imitate the serious members of Townsend , Massachusetts as they 'd shake hands and say “Peace be with you,” we'd hold laughter in our mouths with our little hands. But I was nervous the whole time—afraid of my parents finding me. Not because they would've been angry wit...
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This reminds me of Dear Henry/Dear Liza. I think the set up is a great idea but you need to put some more meat into it. Like is this a suicide thing? There needs to be a deeper thread running through, and I think you could incorporate one with a few rewrites. My recommendation would to be to do a couple character sketches before editing.
First off, the first line of this story is stellar. Really, the whole first paragraph is great. I'd cut out "The James'...marriage" We assume that since you're giving them the time of day. This sounds like a great, quirky story and I'd continue with it.
First, I would love to see this as a piece of short fiction, because I think you have some great descriptions that would lend themselves better to short fiction (or directing) than screenplay. This is really interesting and I don't know if you're meaning to, but it seems to have a horror film vibe...in a good way. I'd like to read more? Is it finished?
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