i think that this peice has a lot of potential. "she punged the knife into her swollen stomach and then into her own heart" Im assuming your implying she is pregnant? I thought that that was really interesting and definitly worth a strong re-writing.

This poem is OK. I would have to understand your purpose/audience better to really agree with whether you are meeting your goal. However, the line : "always nightmares, never dreams." is downright briliant and a gem in the middle of this poem.

I think that this poem could use some work: the images could be much more concrete (I didn't see/taste/hear/feel much in this poem). Also, several of the lines are somewhat cliche. However, I really liked this couplet: "The dead live on / Their addictions" I thought that that was rather brilliant, and would use those lines to create a more original peice.

i think you have good images here, but they get lost in the "connectors": your over-use of the "the" and "their" and "never". Perhaps, if you don't feel like cutting these connector, work with your line length to "hide" them better. Also, I would reconsider the title. Overall, you have a lot of good material to work with here, it just needs tweaking.

i really, really liked this. I think you could get this published as a short story if you cleaned it up a little, take out the part about it being a blog. (you won't even have to capitalize). I thought that the first paragraph was particularly amazing and the images striking. Especially the part about coming out of a drug-induced second puberty. Fabulous! And "I used to understand Nietzche"... I think that I've given you the highest rating that I've given anybody!

This peice was very well written! However, for me, it was a little hard to get into. I guess it was just a little too intellectual, and not visceral enough? I feel bad saying that! It's just that you have a very passive, removed narrator's voice and it makes it a little hard to "get into" the moment you're describing. Though, I can't really say what I would change because the story as a whole is so well written. I guess it's just an overall tone/theme thing for me. And it might just be me! :-)

this poem is OK., but nothing stood out to be as breathtaking. You might want to think about punching up the imagery throughout. I like what you are saying a lot, but I'd love to see you say it with more effect.

I really like this peice, partially because I had a similar experience. Still, I like the matter-of-fact way you presented an idea that many readers will balk at. You handled the dialogue and description very well.

I love this meta-poem. I feel the oncoming of an Urbis-community inspired book with this poem, and someone else has written 'the Ballad of Deleted_User', etc. What is it that drives poets to write about things that only other poets would care to read? Is it the "write what you know" stigma?

This is just a portion? Where is the rest? As an introduction I'm not sure it works. You start out with the statement about dogicide but you never follow it up. the switch (or, rather, revelation) of a dog POV was clever (very "Archy&Mehitable") but it's all so very obtuse. And again you switch abrupty to the end about six special dogs with no preface and no closure.... it's very confusing, and might fit into a larger peice, but does not work as an introdcution. Definitly needs to be fleshed ...