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juzdawn's profile
AGE:
26
LOC: Singapore
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 16
LOC: Singapore
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 16
I enjoy the good things in life – good books, soothing music, various cuisines and of course, wielding my creative pen.
I’m currently a teacher in island nation, Singapore where our government has done all they can to make our homeland a clean and green city and of course, a very fine place too. Much thanks to the fines in place when residents toe the line.
Teaching is a great delight, beyond what my language capability allows me to transcribe into words. It comes with its challenges too, having to deal with fellow comrades who think they have the superpower of Cyclops and those who think that keeping the seats warm is one of their most important duties. So you see, the students are actually least of my worries (to some extent).
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She walked gingerly to the toilet as the nurse held her right arm firmly, ready to steady her should her steps falter. It was a long journey, slow and torturous and filled with a dreaded sense of impending doom. The gleaming mirror was less than a metre away now, and although she could not see her own reflection as yet, she could sense the mirror sizing her up, as though evaluating her from top to toe. Her knees went weak and the nurse was quick to hold her up. They paused in midway for a min...
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I whistled my favourite tune as I stepped out of the lift. It was still early, but the morning was already brisk and warm. The sun's brilliant rays blazed on, blinding the people who were hustling to work. Tuesday morning. How wonderful it was to be able to take a stroll to the market on such a morning and watch the world hurry by. The men in their impeccable suits, the ladies in their tight pencil skirts of all colours, with their hair nicely bundled up, and in their hands, briefcases and fi...
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She woke up screaming, crying, sobbing. When she finally got a hold of herself and looked at the alarm clock, it was already 4am. He had bought the clock for her before he left for his business trip. To wake you up when I'm not around. That was what he had said, teasingly. Of course, she could wake up by herself. She had done it all the years before they were married. But the clock's presence had been comforting. It reminded her of her husband's daily wake-up kiss. But now, it reminded her of...
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As the plane took off, Ling held on tightly to the armrest of her seat. Wei looked at her and held her hands. He did not say a word, but his eyes reassured her. Wei smiled gently at her. Ling could hardly smile back. She squeezed his hands tightly and was determined not to let her fear overcome her. Ling closed her eyes and tried to relax. As the plane cruised towards take off, she felt an overwhelming sense of impending doom. She squeezed her eyes shut as Wei held on firmly to her trembling ...
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She ate at their favourite cafe, nibbling at his favourite fruit naan. She had always liked the curry one more. But just this afternoon, she wanted to relive the memories of the happy days. Her usual waiter approached with a smile and brandished a bottle of pink champagne from his back in his usual dramatic ways. She laughed. He always knew what she liked. Pink champagne, medium rare steaks, a glass of cranberry juice before the entree. But he could never replace him. Not him. The clear fluid...
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More like a prose than a poem. Rhythm is lacking and there seems to be a shift in the tone midway. You started well in the stanza, with some shape which was simply discontinued when you went on to the second stanza. You might want to read up a little more on the notion of rhyming and metre in poems. Subject is interesting but rather than tell the message directly, it would be better to show it to the reader.
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Third paragraph: "We would think "OF" putting itching powder..." Third paragraph: Second last sentence, "When it wasn't itching powder...sneak into her home." The whole sentence reads awkward. I had to guess at what you meant exactly. Fourth paragraph: Last sentence, "How many six year olds WOULD say they're afraid of their DADDIES?" Seventh paragraph: Second last sentence, "IT didn't matter..." Last paragraph: Last sentence, "If I HAD squinted, it WOULD HAVE looked almost like a B." This pie...
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This piece needs some editing before it will shine. It feels like an uncut, raw diamond. Some editing and attention to details will make this piece rather outstanding. The tone is apt, giving the piece a very personal and informal feel which suits the context well. But you tended to let the narrative tipped towards raving and rambling, thus the piece feels rather rushed. Make more use of complex sentence structures.Right now, most of your sentences are constructed from coordinating clauses, w...
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Your names for the terrains are not quite original. The name Titanus has already been claimed by another author. Asura too, if I've not remembered wrongly. (Sorry, but I'm quite the fantasy and sci-fi fan). Not entirely advisable to reuse names used by established authors, especially those in Sci-fi. I'm not sure if it was intended but the Wizard is rather out of place in a sci-fi piece like yours. Wizards belong more closely to the branch of fantasy. Think Middle-earth (J. R. R. Tolkien) and...
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