Incredible insight into a portion of history most have overlooked. This is an excellent depiction of events and needs to be sent to a publisher and/or to the History Channel. Send it to everyone and anyone who could possibly publish this. Great story. I can't say enough about it. The content was excellent, the flow was excellent. Very minor editing for slight punctuation and grammar but may actually not be needed. Get this story out there, it needs to be heard and told.

The content was sparse but flowed smoothly. A shoe in for the category. In its brevity, it says much about life as an artist.

Not bad. The flow was good, the content tight and the characters developed into beleivable characters. Overall, a good story and obviously as you stated, published. However, there are some minor issues to address. In the story you have the characters carrying rucksacks ala ALCE packs. When they reach the LZ, they still have them yet when they reach the objective, there is no mention of them ever dropping them off at a cache or rally point. When the primary character enters the village to sear...

Good flow and now I know from my ealrier review what type of carbine it is that the main character is using. The story flows smoothly and keeps the reader right on the main characters shoulder as he moves through the village and into the temple. The tension and suspense is a nice touch as the character checks the door inside the lean to. Not having read this from the beginning, its difficult to place a time frame within the Vietnam conflict that this allegedly occurs. It reads very well for a...

Good start, decent flow with the action and dialogue but spacing needs to be added to the character dialogue so that it doesn't run into another character's dialogue. Some editing, grammar and syntax changes would make this story more readable and thereby a candidate for publication. Here are some small issues that could be edited and changed; 'When Sam and I had finished going through Aaron’s and Casey’s clothes and stuff' Might want to consider revising this to ‘going through Aaron’s and Ca...

Good development, even tempo with the flow of the story, interesting to the reader to follow along as the story unfolds and try to figure out what is happening. Nice lead in for the next chapter. There are however some little issues to resolve. He began to rube his body with a washcloth I believe you meant to say ‘rub'. She was so kind and careing towards him ‘caring’ simple spell check no big issue So has to not hurt Becca, should read as ‘so as not to hurt Becca’ The rest had unfinished art...

Nice even tempo with the story and good interpretation of emotions with each character. Very believable characters and settings. There are some very minor changes to consider to make the story flow more evenly. “Disobeyed! I am under no obligation to listen around to you.” Might sound better if it was ‘I am under no obligation to listen to you’. Or use the contraction 'I'm' to make the speech sound more spontaneous. Most people don't speak so formally and given that this scene is one of previ...

Well written with an even tempo. The character development is excellent with back story and believable. Good use of descriptors in and out of the action. Some minor spelling issues, 'in rout' would be 'enroute' or 'in route'. This issue is all together very minor but I just wanted to bring it to your attention so that it can be corrected prior to submission to a publisher. This is great story and reads very well.

You write a good story with a nice pace. The characters are very believable and the reader can easily relate to them. Some minor issues, nothing major to take care of. ‘the men were aloud to smoke in training.’ This should be ‘allowed’ not ‘aloud’. One gives permission, the other is a form of speaking. Example, he said the words aloud whereas the children were allowed to go outside. Crowler you’ll be Sniper Team Leader, (should this read as SOTIC instead of sniper? Marines have Scout/Sniper S...