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joyelm's profile
AGE:
32
LOC: Coos Bay, OR
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 01
LOC: Coos Bay, OR
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 01
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Dancing around and around this earth
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I dare not blame you yet I find nothing within myself. I have to stop letting you cut into my body with jagged cuts. You tear apart my compassion with your drama so useless. I'm running yet you only grab me to help yourself. I'm running yet you still find ways to tear open my flesh. I'm fucking tired of this. I'm angry at myself for not caring anymore. When you call me I just agree because I'm too tired to give a shit anymore. I dare not blame you yet I find nothing. I dare not blame you yet ...
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Version 1
10 Reviews
7 Comments
I dare not blame you yet I find nothing within myself I have to stop letting you cut into my body with jagged cuts You tear apart my compassion with your drama so useless I'm running yet you only grab me to help yourself I'm running yet you still find ways to tear open my flesh I'm fucking tired of this I'm fucking angry at myself for not caring anymore When you call me I just agree because I'm too tired to give a shit anymore I dare not blame you yet I find nothing I dare not blame you yet I...
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Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
I dare not blame you yet I find nothing within myself I have to stop letting you cut into my body with jagged cuts You tear apart my compassion with your drama so useless I'm running yet you only grab me to help yourself I'm running yet you still find ways to tear open my flesh I'm fucking tired of this I'm fucking angry at myself for not caring anymore When you call me I just agree because I'm too tired to give a shit anymore I dare not blame you yet I find nothing I dare not blame you yet I...
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Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
May 3, 2002~ I am a mover who stands on two feet. I feel quiet, so I just stand there and breathe. I feel expansion and release in my body. My feet do not feel grounded. They are just there underneath me. I feel like taking a walk. I test my right foot and can't feel my whole foot on the ground. I try my other foot and continue walking forward still testing the ground. I feel unsure of my surroundings, so I walk backwards. I stand on two feet again taking deep breaths. I notice my hands tense...
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I think this piece has the possibility of more expression... your expression in it is great and very clear, it could almost be lyrics to a song. I find some of the grammer off but overall you have a lot to say in such short poetry... Nice work! Great level of compassion!
you definitly know how to use your words, I suggest adding more to your voice here, what do you want to say more of...I feel like you held back here where, while reading it, you seem to stop too soon? Does that make sense? You have skill, but I know you have more of a voice than what you put down here. Overall it is good poetry. I just think you have more artistry to put into it, which is the voice...your voice!
I found this to sound more like a monologue. It says a lot however. Poetry to me is just a voice and you definitly use your voice here. You prove a point and your words fit the tone.
In all honesty in my opinion this is what poetry is all about...it's about get the words on the page, like a painter getting the paint somewhere even if it doesn't make it to the canvas...you have a point here. the feeling of this to me is a quiet somber yet real intensity to explode something out of your pencil to write...you did it and it is beautiful! Nice work, you tell it like you feel it and that is what makes it work for me.
Wow...I love the depth in this. The way it is written sounds melancholy and it makes it's point. I think you have talent for words and I would keep writing because you express yourself well. this work in itself is great proof of that.
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