joonthespoon's profile

joonthespoon avatar
AGE: 27
LOC: LA, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: November 01

after much thinking, i have concluded that poems cannot stand alone, because the author’s experiences do not stand alone. our experiences are not that simple. each experience is a complex web of past, present, and future, of dynamic yet reoccuring themes, of people who populate our every day lives.

in this way, a poem is never finished. a poem constantly changes in meaning because the poet himself changes, and consequently, because the filter through which we respond emotionally to experiences and memories much change as well.

i want to present a body of work that does not consist of independent pieces, poetry that is interlocked with each other. and the body of work should be large enough so that adding or subtracting a piece …

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Poetry / Persimmons a la Li Young Lee
Version 2
2 Reviews   0 Comments
After reading Li Young Lee’s “Persimmons”, the professor turned to me as if I had something interesting to say.   But this was all I knew: I once asked my father if persimmons originated in China. Those Chinese don’t see persimmons the way we Koreans do.   I mean, what can I say of precision? What can I say of persimmons? Precision was what my father demanded, even when cutting persimmons, his words sharper than the knife in my hand. But the knife a...
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Poetry / Alleviation
Version 3
2 Reviews   0 Comments
We once sat here—do you remember?— in silence that was neither awkward nor meaningful— silence was all we had left— and the children were running, and the parents standing, cross-armed, and the sky looked as if it was patched up everywhere I thought it amazing, the deftness with which the horde of children avoided trees and people, the wisdom with which they knew to pull and be pulled— I later deduced the secret: You have to run fast enough to create tension, t...
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Poetry / Great Expecations 2.0
Version 2
2 Reviews   1 Comment
Great Expectations They say it rains because clouds become too heavy So I go out back tell my father how heavy the cloud looks. Yes, it does, he says, his gaze fixed on his apple tree. The apples are heavy with sweetness, hanging on by their umbilical cords. Can we pick them? I ask. No. They’re not ready yet, he says. Years pass. I graduate from high school as valedictorian. Life presents itself to me the way it always has. What are you going to do? he asks. I don’t know, I say....
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Poetry / Alleviation
Version 2
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Alleviation We once sat here—do you remember?— In silence that was neither awkward nor meaningful— Silence was all we had left— And the children were running, And the parents standing, cross-armed, And the sky looked as if It was patched with a hundred different emblems. I thought it amazing, The deftness with which the horde of children avoided trees And people The wisdom with which they knew to pull and be pulled, I, when it was too late, deduced the secret: You ha...
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Poetry / Persimmon Tree
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
I was chosen to be the bearer of incredible amounts of sadness, of fruit swelling with the bittersweet. In the backyard garden my father tends to his trees— lemon, orange, apple, peach, persimmon. “Feed the trees sugar, and they will bear sweet fruit,” he says. All I remember from childhood are those Sunday afternoons resting my head on my mother’s lap after church, her hands cool like autumn; those days on the beach, worrying whether I could build the moat in time to save my dream castle fro...
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Poetry / Avian
by Anonymous
this would probably reach its full potential as a song. i'd encourage you to find some music to put this to. the title though, has to go, unless it's a name of a person. even then, its significance beyond the general reference to the bird would be lost.
Poetry / The Argonauts
by Oookookachoo
One thing I enjoyed about this poem was the management of voice. The speaker's voice seems very subdued and resigned, as if almost expecting the inevitable. There are instances where you can clean up your grammar or sentence structures for better flow. For example, the last three lines of the first stanza is a huge run on sentence that is hard to follow. The last three lines of the second stanza would greatly improve if you took out the words "have" (line 4)and "then" (line 5). The use of the...
Poetry / Seventh Inning Stretch
by Howard_Bushart
couple of initial notes: "debauches" should be "debaucheries"? the line "success is measured by failure seven times out of ten" is confusing. It reads as "seven times out of ten, success is measured by failure", which is not what you're going for. a clear construct of this would be "failing seven times out of ten is considered success." or something like that.
Poetry / Flux
by Rareliquid
being sufficiently abstract, i'm not sure what you're really intending here. in any case, there seems to be some wordage issues. for example, "singular" means unique, and so "but not the same" doesn't fit. Also, divinely entangled, has no meaning for me whatsoever. I'm adverse to adverbs in general.. because it feels like one is forcing an attribute onto something that does not necessarily work. overall, the piece feels like a description of a chemical reaction. a big bang type of image, wher...
Poetry / Motel Room Reflections
by Johnsienoel
I like this alot. You obviously have great command over your language. One thing: I think "voluptuous" is too... say, magnetic? a word here. Just too much focus goes to it. It zoned my attention. This may be attributed to me being male, or what not, but you know, the word seemed to dictate my expectations for the poem. Combined with the title, i immediately thought of people having sex in a motel and being shouted at by their neighbors. honest. Also, i just don't think "voluptuous" works with...
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