It's an even paced romantic read and has good emotional connecting value meaning I was able to feel the love and passion for her. It resolved well in the end. It has a small feeling of Shakespeare to it. Very good read.

Well, this was an intense piece. I am a romance short story writer and Flash Fiction is new to me. However, this form of short story writing suites the style in which you wrote it in. Just as I was connected from one page to the next I felt the intensity of the assumption that she was about to jump, then she calmed down. The ending left me tense which I believe is the purpose of this piece and Flash Fiction. Very well written with the thrill of Flash and Flush feelings of both characters! ~Jo...

The story started out very well balanced. The setup and environment was very good. The character blend into the begin maintained through the first two paragraphs. While the descriptions to setup the story were very good and drew me into the story, it began to stall as I was trying to get back on track. The actions of the character were very easy to absorb and build as I read on. But here again PG 2, the descriptions had me stalling. Pg 3 - Good character flaws in the second character introduc...

Being a third generation military person myself, you really have the jargon down. The dialog was good and realistic without over doing it. Yeah in the military cursing is part of daily communication, but some writers tend to over do it. Your descriptions and environments were spot on. Group talk and dialog was strong without confusing the reader. Leading up to the end I was sucked in by Chapter 22 waiting to get to Chapter 23 and 24 to see how the event would turn out! This was a good hook. S...

Observation This is very choppy and has no hook or connection to draw the reader in to want more. I do realize from your "Notes" that this is a cut a past to give the reviewer an idea of your where your story is going, but it runs out before it can gain momentum. The character setup is very weak. I understand that... "After lifetimes of struggle The Warrior is. He has morphed, through GOD’S grace, into that which is the grandest vision he had for himself." What did he morph into? Morph from? ...

Observation I would put page 2 beginning where the second paragraph started in front of page 1. This would hook the readers interest right away and pull them into the "event" that sets the tone of the story and add to the starting pace of the story which is urgent. I don't know who is telling the story. Excellent story telling from the "observers view" but on page 1 you started talking about the "event". As I kept reading I was waiting to find out who is telling the story behind the glass. A ...

Observation: Guidelines: Title, Subject/Meaning, Grammar and Syntax, Metaphor & Simile, Structure, Rhythm & Pace, Vagueness & Abstractions, Clichés & Originality. The title is strong and drew me in Subject Meaning - I clearly understood that I was expecting Grammar, Syntax - well balanced Metaphor - You used a lot of elements that relate to a mother (sewing, womb, etc.) Structure, Rhythm & Pace - Chromatic meaning with a jazz pace uneven yet even on tempo. Vagueness & Abstractions - It got of...