jenny's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 15
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 15
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Items
Version 2
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Consuming liquid; sultry, hot, Her skin grows damp for you, As under dark summer skies Your tongue traces a silvery path Across her flesh, mapping the dips and curves. You whisper naughty nothings, nip at tender lobes, scratching desires, raking across flesh as she shakes with uncontrollable need. In the dusky light She feels the shadows of your face, Swallows your gaze and watches the passion slowly spread. Taking you in complete, she opens up, allowing the heat to rise in familiar blushes. ...
Version 2
2 Reviews
2 Comments
Today I’m silently stalking you, prowling around each pointless application waiting for the faintest glimmer of attraction on a static screen, the cursor …the only blinking reminder of what is yet to come. I’ll read my inbox once more, dissecting each word, each crumb tossed carelessly aside, scanning for subtext. Your face flashes before me - A monochrome avatar that spells out desire in a world of virtual longing. Carefully, we’ll type around the corners of relationship banter and I’ll soak...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
It seemed that time had whipped away so many self-assurances from this fragile girl's form, the adult simply a shell of the child's voice trapped and left behind. How many times had she played dress up, donning a dark black suit and commanding authority over ears that no longer seemed to hear the nuances in her words. Each night the clothes lay discarded on the floor in favour of an outworn T-shirt stained through too many empty outpourings. The tears which once had been free-flowing now seem...
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
In the beginning you fitted, snug against my skin. Arm in arm we fitted, knitting dreams together formed from threads of fragmented thoughts. Against better judgement we ignored the holes that began to appear as we unravelled each other's flaws until all that was left was a single string. Pulling in different directions that thread became fractured causing barely visible burns to mark our relationship. Now what once fitted completely is outworn, no longer fitting. So I must let go of that thr...
Version 1
2 Reviews
5 Comments
Undone I've come undone... in this deserted room a whispered dream forgotten. Take me fast down travelling paths to a light as yet unseen Your hands that once undid me fumbling over skin, now lie heavy in another bed too many times I've screamed. Unlace these heavy secrets, see past the red and gold, tie me to this bed of pain til i'm anchored in your soul. Flashes of a life once lived, now a reckless scene revolving, flickering over half-closed eyes this movie keeps upturning. Power games an...
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Reviews
I really loved this piece! It's certainly coherent in my view and I like the way that you have used both the structure and time metaphor whilst still keeping the poem grounded on a personl level. Great job.
You get the message of the poem across clearly and I'm sure most writers can at least relate to the message it conveys. I liked the opening two stanzas, though the pen/sword metaphor is a little cliche. The ending was strong. You definitely have something there, a talent worth shaping though I would like to see you expanding on the idea presented to make it a little more personal.
The ending to the piece certainly packs a powerful punch! The poem genrally flows well, although the rhyme at the beginning threw me a little because it is not consisten throughout. That aside, the images and atmosphere you create in this poem create a great sense of conflict. Thank you for posting this, I enjoyed reading it.
Great job! This poem really flows and does not seem at all laboured ( as so many poems can seem when adhering to strict forms of poetry). You create a strong atmosphere and the allusions to Edgar are well placed. I enjoyed redaing this piece - Thank you.
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